Primary Arms

Donkeys Led by Lions

According to a recent article in “British Army Review” the Taliban are referring to British Squaddies as “Donkeys” and saying that they “waddle” around the battlefield due to the heavy loads they have to carry. The article, entitled “Donkeys Led by Lions” is an obvious play on words. During WW I the British Army was said to be made up of “Lions Led by Donkeys”. The author who chose to write anonymously, further contends that, while Tommies are being referred to by the enemy as Donkeys, the headquarters are like so many “fat, lazy” lions saying, “Lions, contrary to Victorian opinion, aren’t brave or noble; they are fat, lazy creatures that lie around all day licking themselves.” He goes on, “They get others to do the dirty work and they have a penchant for infanticide. We are not saying our commanders are fat, lazy child killers, far from it, but it has reached a point where their headquarters are.”

He writes of a “bloated over complex system that sucks the life out of operations” and that “decision and action get lost in Chinese whispers and Chinese parliaments that turn most of operational staff ‘work’ into operational staff waste”. Sounds like the cries for help from a small unit leader drowning in a sea of militocracy. He’s right. In the western way of running armies, those deemed the best, lead units in combat and the marginal become staffs.

As for the issue of mobility v. protection. Make no mistake, everyone in the Coalition is up against the same enemy and terrain as the United States. Afghanistan is a Soldier-centric environment with other systems acting in supporting roles. We, as well as our allies, have taken great pains to protect our troops but this has come at a cost of mobility and agility. Over the last year, the British military has further modernized their personal equipment providing enhanced camouflage as well as new armor systems that has netted a 10 kg weight savings. On the US side PEO Soldier is keenly aware of the situation and each enhancement in capability is looked at from the perspective a SWAP (Size Weight and Power) analysis once reserved for aircraft and vehicles. Work is being done to not only lower the weight but also to add no additional weight as new capabilities are fielded. Additionally, here in the US, programs such as SPD 9 are looking at ways to better handle the weight of armor systems.

As for bloated commands? I got nothing for you. It might be a lousy war, but it’s the only one we’ve got.

The nameless author does leave us with one excellent observation, “If we don’t work out now how we are going to lose that weight we will do the old trick of starting the next war by repeating the mistakes of this one.”

4 Responses to “Donkeys Led by Lions”

  1. Stefan says:

    “fat, lazy child killers’? Pot calling the kettle black, don’t you think?

  2. The UK MoD – Defence Equipment & Support Organisation alone has over 350 positions staffed by full bird Col’s or equivalents. Within that, each sub group (weapons, ISTAR, Land Equipment etc etc) all support their own finance department. In addition there is a separate DE&S Finance Deaprtment Then consider that with the odd exception there are MoD departments under every letter of the alphabet with similar structures it’s easy to see where a large portion of the defence spend is absorbed.

    Strategic Defence Review should be renamed the Strategic Management Clean Out.

  3. Strike-Hold says:

    Well said UTE! And then add on top of that the politically-motivated interference from Whitehall and Downing Street and its a true wonder that anything ever gets done well.

    But on the other hand, things like the Urgent Operational Requirement programme seem to work very well at outflanking the usual cumbersomeness of the system and getting crucial equipment to the troops in double-quick time. Just look at what’s happened with MTP for example – the UK has done in a matter of months what it will apparently take the US YEARS to do…

  4. @Strike Hold – agree’d ref Main Building & those that parade the carpeted corridors.

    UOR’s in general and MTP in particular are a good example of what can be achieved when you have the will and the people to make it happen. It’s amazing that there are no inquiries into why UOR’s happen the way they do, but Nimrod and other mis-managed projects run for years and get canned at the end.?

    Sadly, with MTP, the key people that made it happen and the recognition they deserve has been lost amongst the collective back slapping at DC-IPT. But there are a few that know the real story!