Polartec Military

US Army Camo – An Apology and An Update

First off, we hope by now that everyone realizes that the story we published on April 1st entitled “Breaking – US Army to Abandon Camo Update; Vows to Reinstate OD” was in fact an April Fool’s Day prank. We understand that readers come to SSD for solid, reliable and factual information. We violated that trust on Monday and we are sorry if we made any extra work for anyone. We will make all attempts to resist the temptation to pull your collective leg in the future.

stripes

As for the US Army Camo Improvement Effort itself. It’s still on and although officials have said on record that a decision is coming, we’d say that it’s just now starting to breathe hard. Look for a decision in 3rd Quarter (we are in 3rd Quarter by the way) with yet another briefing scheduled for Army leadership mid-April to clarify some questions regarding the massive amounts of data collected during the most thorough evaluation of camouflage in history.

To wit, we have this to say. US Army, stop wasting money purchasing commodities in UCP and make a decision already. The data is there. Interpolate it and act.

To everyone else. Stop forwarding that damnable fake camo selection announcement PowerPoint and most of all, stop sending it to us saying that you have some inside information on who was selected. No one knows except those involved in the program. We wish the Army could keep every secret as well as they are keeping this one.

47 Responses to “US Army Camo – An Apology and An Update”

  1. Reverend says:

    Wait…some folks FELL for that?! (rolls eyes) No apologies… it was the highlight of my day!

    • majrod says:

      Yeah, that was a good one! People believed it? WOW. I gues we not only have to buy camo these days (vs. do it) we need to buy common sense.

  2. Thor H. says:

    People believed it? Anyone who fell for that hard hitting story, and all of the images from beloved movies, deserves to be made to look like a fool, along with whatever extra work they created for themselves. Come on people, if a newspaper in Cleveland can run a headline that Lebron resigned with the Cavs, SSD can put up a joke article every once in a while.

  3. CAVstrong says:

    I have heard from a reliable source that the Army will be making some decisions relating to all of its uniforms (ASU, IPFU, & ACU) around 11 April. I don’t think/know if that has anything to do with camo patterns. Can you shed any insight into that?

  4. J says:

    Good thing SS readers aren’t ridiculously gullible or anything. And it’s also good that if they were gullible, they wouldn’t get so hurt by it. It was a joke, on a day specifically known for such things. With news stories like a quiver from a nylon company because guns are scary, why wouldn’t readers suspect tomfoolery?

  5. Lee says:

    I fell for that for about 10 seconds. But seriously. It was April 1st. EVERYONE had April Fools stuff up. People need to get a grip.

  6. Greg says:

    It had to be the references to “Stripes.” Nothing says, “Legitimate-news-story-on-April-1” like references to Bill Murray and a comedy from the early-eighties.

    Keep up the good work, SSD!

  7. Really? says:

    Uhhhh, this was a great April Fools prank and you shouldn’t care at all if some idiots couldn’t see it for the humor it was. Great job and keep it up!

  8. TV-PressPass says:

    Man, if you believe any unusual news on April 1st you are asking to get bit.

    Next year?

    “Army Announces Revival of the XM8 Platform to Replace M4s”

    😀

  9. Mike B. says:

    BTW, The OD concept isn’t a bad idea for a Barracks uniform..

  10. S says:

    Please post the e-mail’s you received from the “gullible ones” that got their feelings hurt. They are SURE to be hilarious!!

  11. Dan Capek says:

    Same sort of thing happened to the Duffel Blog. The published a story that wasn’t satire and people got angry and confused.

  12. y0te says:

    Apologize for nothing. It was a joke in good humor. Anyone who got upset by it can kick rocks.

  13. james says:

    You did as you always do… a fantastic job! and the humor was needed! no need to apologize for those who could not figure it out… keep up the great work!

  14. RJ says:

    At this point, even when an announcement is made, WILL we believe it? Or will it be one of those, “Hey fellas, expect to get *insert dead program or non-delivered promise here* in the next few months”? I sure won’t believe it until I am wearing it or using it. We may as well face facts…the Army is breaking open the storage facility with all the wooden rifles from the 20’s and 30’s and we are going to get really, really good at yelling “BANG, I got you!”

  15. straps says:

    Seriously, someone who saw a dispatch with a photo from “Stripes” took it as gospel? That’s sad, truly sad. I don’t think they’re owed an apology, they’re owed a block of instruction in media analysis. With plenty of squat thrusts thrown in.

    Other media outlets with credibility at least equal to SSD did April Fool’s stuff and it was awesome. For me it’s becoming kinda like the ads they play during that US football championship game.

    Far as that Powerpoint, there’s got to be a way to publish it with a “known fraudulent” watermark.

    • Lawrence says:

      You know, I’d really like to see that notorious PowerPoint… 😉

    • SSD says:

      I’d publish it but it shows that one of the finalists one and no announcement has been made. I’m afraid that shedding light on the matter might be seen disfavorably in the selection process.

      • Lawrence says:

        No worries – I got from somebody else this afternoon. I think you’re right not to post it – wouldn’t want the butt-hurt to spread…

        I did have a good chuckle at the “Permethrin-lined” ACUs bit though – Permethrin is a treatment that the cloth is impregnated with, not a lining, and its already in use.

  16. JM says:

    It was a good laugh. down with the serious police!

  17. AW says:

    Do not appologize, if they fell for that, then they deserve to feel dumb. I though it was pretty damn funny myself. The saddest part is that our current administration has led people to believe that any stupidity is possible these days.

  18. Ken says:

    It’s already been said more eloquently than I will, but . . . ARE YOU F’N KIDDING ME??? WHAT NUMBSKULL(S) BELIEVED THAT??

  19. On behalf of Texas says:

    SOLDIER SYSTEMS is the best. Some people are… not the best. I bet it was the clowns running the camo effort that got mad at SSD. Reminds me of a saying, “If you can’t take a joke, you are one.”

  20. CJK1DOC says:

    Well, I am glad you didn’t reference the EM-50 project, or we all would have black helo’s hovering above our homes, just sayin. This is the go to resource and I have turned everyone from public safety personnel and military folks to the everyday Joe just wanting to see what is out there to this website. Don’t change a thing..

    Be Safe,

    Doc

  21. Yanne says:

    I think everybody’s a little tired of people getting butthurt over silly matters. Unless someone died, keep calm and chive on. No apology necessary. Violating trust…what a bunch of balony.

  22. SteveB says:

    “There can be only one” – Connor MacLoed

  23. Greg says:

    Lol, no need to apologize. Most of us knew it was an April Fools joke, since it was April 1st.

  24. CapnTroy says:

    Wait…what? There better be some serious shoveling of sand out of somebody’s mangina if offense was taken to that very funny posting…

  25. Combaticron says:

    Don’t apologize because some morons got butthurt. OWN IT. If there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s when someone backs away from a bold move because someone else got offended. It’s weak.

  26. JW says:

    Firstly — 
    Great prank. Loved it!

    Secondly — 
    Anyone that fell for it — seriously? I did a double take, then it took two seconds to realize it was a prank. What was most amusing was other sites reposting as actual news.

    Keep it up SSD. Everyone that didn’t get the joke … wow. :-)

  27. BradKAF308 says:

    SSD and companies that are featured here never do that sort of thing. April FOOLS? Tisk tisk tisk. The offended parties, was that the first time they came here? WOW. Future reference any article that has a pic of the great John Candy is to be taken with a grain, nay, a kilogram of sodium. FYI I still want that quiver!

  28. Jason says:

    Never apologize for embarrassing the ignorant or gullible. A fool needs to be embarrassed to understand how foolish he really is.

    I thought it was awesome and immediately turned on Stripes. Thanks for the laughs.

    Jason

  29. Charlie says:

    you forgot the other story of the day
    Am I the only person who heard the Army is going to cancel the use of the m- 16 platform and go back to the m-1?
    Something about so many states coming up with magazine size requirements, the Army was going back to the 8 round mag of the M-1?
    I suppose that’s a joke too!

  30. bulldog 76 says:

    actually the us army brought in a ringer and has now accepted rhodesian camo