B5 Systems

Kick Some Ass with a Rolled Up Magazine – Take 3

We first published this article in March of 2010. It’s still classic, even in its third appearance on SSD.

If you are a fan of our WTF? series of articles then this one is for you. We think we have identified the mother of all WTF?’s and all future articles will be judged against this one. This is awesome!

Professor Ronald Duncan is providing instruction in the art of Hoda Korosu; the art of improvised weaponry. I was actually quite pleased to see this as I have been telling my kids since they were little that you could turn anything into a weapon. I don’t think they really ever believed me until now.

Ever get your ass kicked with a rolled up magazine? Well be careful with this information. It can be dangerous. Seriously, someone (yes it was one of those doubting Thomas children of mine) almost put my eye out earlier. If you do put your eye out, (or anything else) remember, we warned you.

Finally, I gotta say, seeing this guy I immediately think of Pootie Tang and the belt. Then again, if this doesn’t work for you, there’s the Craig Sawyer method.

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20 Responses to “Kick Some Ass with a Rolled Up Magazine – Take 3”

  1. Damon says:

    My Modern Arnis instructor (who was 2nd Ranger Battalion in the 80s) destroyed me one night with a magazine during a class. Good times, haha.

  2. Jaminphx says:

    I used to kick my brother ass, and he mine, with that method. His kung-fu was strong.

  3. FHRITP says:

    This would be a good sudden thug life video

  4. Bill says:

    Prison inmates are masters of combat origami. A very tightly rolled piece of paper saturated with soap and let dry makes a serviceable shiv.

  5. Fortunately this was prior to the rough surface covered magizines sush as Recoil or Offgrid we have today. He may have killed the man.

  6. KUTF says:

    Jason Bourne, is that you?

  7. douglas says:

    The over reaction is hilarious!

  8. SShink says:

    The “magazine-beatee” seems to be enjoying it…like an even more twisted version of 50 Shades of Grey.

  9. Brett says:

    Hopefully people won’t go all Hoda Korosu on the puppy with a rolled up newspaper for whizzing on the floor.

  10. Ex Coelis says:

    Rolled up newspapers, magazines, hat-pins… Yep. Sometimes the Hunter becomes the hunted in the space of a MacGuyver-moment.

  11. Texas-Roll-Over says:

    That’s what Improvised Weapon Wednesdays are for…

  12. wayno says:

    Can you imagine a navy seal or any other spec ops getting his ass beat with a magazine- this is just so much bullshit. They do not play this game or react like the other person involved in this video.

    • Dev says:

      Well thank fuck that most people or most shitbirds aren’t “navy seal or any other spec ops” then

      • wayno says:

        Well try this shit on any street fighter that has been in real life confrontations while he is trying to slap him with that magazine the other guy will be choking the life out of him.

  13. Major_Northeast_City says:

    I ‘ve carried one for years.
    I tape the ends and middle with clear Gorilla Tape which keeps it from unrolling and keeps it very tight.
    10¾” length, 1″ inch thick (the magazine).

    • wayno says:

      I carry a glock 26 in an appendix holster ,I leave the magazines in the bathroom for reading material. A good pocket knife is not a bad idea either.

      • Major_Northeast_City says:

        Do you take your glock 26 and pocket knife on a plane with you out of every major airport in America? Or across the border to Canada? Or walk around every major city in America with them?

        • wayno says:

          You have point there, but it still doesn’t change the fact that these so called shitbirds are not’ going to fall prey to a rolled up magazine. Most violent offenders make a habit out of being in street fights. Take a young male thug who has been in multiple maybe daily altercations, hell all you have to do is pull up this shit on you tube and watch 4 or 5 cops trying to subdue a young dude with batons blazing away , he doesn’t seem to care. I am not trying to take away from the martial artist in this video -but every man does not react the same .