GORE-TEX PYRAD

Right! Sergeant Major, Marchin’ Up and Down the Square

Since we’ve got someone in the UK this week, we said, “Ah, what the heck.”

SERGEANT MAJOR: Don’t stand there gawping like you’ve never seen the Hand of God before! Now, today, we’re going to do marching up and down the square! That is, unless any of you got anything better to do. Well?! Anyone got anything they’d rather be doing than marching up and down the square?! Yes?! Atkinson. What would you… rather be doing, Atkinson?

ATKINSON: Well, to be quite honest, Sarge, I’d… rather be at home with the wife and kids.

SERGEANT MAJOR: Would you, now?!

ATKINSON: Yes, Sarge.

SERGEANT MAJOR: Right! Off you go! Now, everybody else happy with my little plan… of marching up and down the square a bit?

COLES: Sarge!

SERGEANT MAJOR: Yes?!

COLES: I’ve got a book I’d quite like to read.

SERGEANT MAJOR: Right! You go read your book, then! Now! Everybody else… quite content to join in… with my little scheme of marching up and down the square?!

WYCLIF: Sarge?

SERGEANT MAJOR: Yes, Wyclif?! What is it?!

WYCLIF: Well, I’m, uh, learning the piano.

SERGEANT MAJOR: Learning the piano?!

WYCLIF: Yes, Sarge.

SERGEANT MAJOR: And I suppose you want to go and practice, eh? Marching up and down the square not good enough for you, eh?!

WYCLIF: Well,–

SERGEANT MAJOR: Right! Off you go!

WYCLIF: Oh.

SERGEANT MAJOR: Now! What about the rest of you? Rather be at the pictures, I suppose.

SQUAD: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Ooh, yeah. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Right.

SERGEANT MAJOR: All right! Off you go!

SQUAD: Oh. Ooh. Great. That’s great. What a day. I want to see the Merle Oberon picture. Eh hehheh.

SERGEANT MAJOR: Bloody army! I don’t know what it’s coming to. Right! Sergeant Major, marching up and down the square. Left, right, left. Left…

NARRATOR #1: Democracy and humanitarianism have always been trademarks of the British Army…

SERGEANT MAJOR: Rubbish!

NARRATOR #1: Shh! …And have stamped its triumph throughout history, in the furthest-flung corners of the Empire,…
[mayhem]
…but, no matter where or when there was fighting to be done,…
[patriotic music]
…it has always been the calm leadership of the Officer class that has made the British Army what it is.

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10 Responses to “Right! Sergeant Major, Marchin’ Up and Down the Square”

  1. BradKAF308 says:

    Classic

  2. Allamericanpsg says:

    Story of my life

  3. Toby says:

    When I was still serving my CSM threatened this to some of the younger soldiers, went straight over their heads
    My favourite Python sketch ever

  4. Lorenzo says:

    Brits… I love them. Best SM play ever.

  5. Jim says:

    We showed it to candidates at the development and selection center whilst I was there, I don’t know if it still is, talk about giving a skewed view of things……;)

  6. Philip says:

    One of my favourite Python bits — I watched The Meaning of Life literally just last night!

  7. Logan F. Crooks says:

    Hilarious.

  8. straps says:

    Classic. Thanks for packaging this.

  9. Aaron says:

    Here’s the thing though…our boys don’t drill enough.