SureFire

Mudge Smash Monday – Words Dumb People Use To Make Themselves Sound Smart

Let’s face it, throughout our military careers we have run across those that misuse words, or worse yet, use made up words, to make themselves sound smarter. Mudge gets annoyed when someone says “orientate” as in , “once you get off of the cattletruck, properly orientate yourselves and then move out in a military manner.” Wouldn’t it be much easier to just say, “get off the truck, figure out where you are, and then get moving to the next objective.”

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As another example, while I’ve never had the nerve to tell Mudge that it would “behoove” him to do anything, I’m sure he’d get a little angry over that one and trust me, you won’t like Mudge when he’s angry.

Which military words, terms and phrases, real or imagineered, get under your skin?

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135 Responses to “Mudge Smash Monday – Words Dumb People Use To Make Themselves Sound Smart”

  1. Brackett says:

    ‘Any alibis?’
    Also, when people refer to ’10 level’ and ’20 level’ positions, thinking that the ‘O’ at the end of a duty MOS (11B4O) is a ‘0’. Drives me absolutely nuts.

  2. Luke says:

    “SHARP training”

  3. Luke says:

    I hate Blue Falcon and Whiskey Tango Foxtrot. Just say what you mean rather. The military is too politically correct

  4. Mike Nomad says:

    I don’t know if they say it (and write it) to sound smart, but, users of “the fact that” needs to cough blood and die. The previous one to top my list, “irregardless,” no longer bothers me, since I don’t see users of that “word” as human beings.

  5. Ex11A says:

    Some old ones:
    “Put on your tennis shoes for PT” Really, we’re going to play tennis?
    “Pick up your bag and baggage” What’s the difference?
    “Get in the duesenhalf” Get in the deuce and a half (2 1/2 ton truck).
    “Police up the barracks” We get to arrest offending garbage?
    “Lock and load one twenty round magazine” How about we just insert it?

  6. bozo says:

    F**king “alltimers”… it’s Alzheimer’s you morons – not really military… but if I had a gawdamn nickel for every time I heard that word in the last year…

  7. JES says:

    One that irks me is when support units use “Battle Rhythm” to describe their daily briefing schedule. Hello, you’re not in any kind of a battle; you’re just trying to glorify your support role and powerpoint prowess. Support is important, but it’s generally not a battle- against anyone but ourselves, at least. Just accept the reality that you’re (we’re) not snake-eaters and move on.

    • SSD says:

      SP4?

    • SamW says:

      so true. So true. Battle rhythm of CUBs and BUBs and other nonsensical acronyms for long, agonizing meetings where nothing is really said despite hours of windbags and powerpoint

  8. Pnshr71 says:

    Mission command- the current Army flavor of exercising command and control by giving intent and allowing a degree of freedom in task completion, while at the same time also serving as an impossible myriad of systems which enable echelons above reality to have controlling access to the most minute of details

  9. The Stig says:

    This is timely.

    http://vevo.ly/yRwiKB

  10. Crayon eating booger eater says:

    “Mute Point.” It’s “Moot,” people. MOOT!

  11. Pete says:

    “Lee-Oh-Pold” for Leupold always drives me nuts

    “CCO” gets annoying too, when you’re differentiating between an M68 and other red dots, fine. When used for Eotech’s, other Aimpoints, or your f*&^ing $30 Walmart Barska red dot, just STFU.

    And not so much a word, but when people explain magnetic declination as deriving from some f*&^ing iron ore deposit in Montana or Canada or some such, I want to ask them if that’s where they think the end of the rainbow is as well.

  12. Zach says:

    I can’t believe no one has put up “Notionally” yet.
    This is my all time most hated word. The combination of a Notion, and functionally, meaning that they have neither the resources nor the ability to correctly create battlefield conditions, but since a box has to be checked, we are going to play cops and robbers and do it anyways. I’ve had whole portions of field exercises be “Notional” to the point where we did an Airfield seizure with stacks of cardboard as “ammunition”. It’s absurd.

  13. Chance says:

    Is there any particular reason people pronounce “cache” as “cash-ay”?

    • SSD says:

      It’s because they need to buy an “r”.

    • Pete says:

      Same reason everyone says “reh-vuh-lee” instead of “Reh-veh” for Reveille. They don’t speak French or know French phonetics. But yeah, cache is an annoying one, although I give people a pass on that one – we don’t say “deh-twa” for Detroit either.

      For the record though, the noun is pronounced like “cash” as in “I found a cash of humvee keys.”
      The verb is also almost always “cash.” The only time it is “cash-ay” is in the past tense as in “I cash-ay’d all our dicked-up old pvs-7s where nobody will ever find them.”

  14. Officer of Science and Things says:

    On Violence does a series called Quotes Behaving Badly along the same lines of this thread

    http://onviolence.com/?e=225

  15. Nick says:

    Smartly…”Carry on smartly”.

    I don’t know why but that bugs the ever livng shit out of me. It just sounds stupid. I can’t understand why there is this overwhelming desire to make a miltary slanguage. Just talk like a normal person and do your job.

  16. Tank says:

    “Stalwart” – I know it’s a word but way overused,, i.e. “Have a stalwart day.” So fucking dumb

    “Police” – As in police the cigarette butts in the parking lot.

    “Smadge” – Referring to Sergeant Major, which already has a fricking acronym

    “Stride it out” – Usually used during a ruck march to step faster

    “Trackin'” – Usually used by buck sergeants or half ass NCO’s to mean do you understand

    “Direct your attention to….” – A simple “Look here” would suffice

    “Pound sand” – WTF

    “Beat your boots” – Some dumb ass version of punishment

    “Sandbox” -generally used by civilians trying to relate to soldiers

    “Across the pond” – Another dumbass phrase for where you are on deployment. Its a god damned ocean thousands of miles wide, a pond is what I row a fucking canoe in.

    “Smoke” – referring to pushups or punishment exercises.

    “Range-ism” – How about you call it what it is, a dumbass rule created by fuckhead leaders who perpetutate stupidity on the range.

    “Wheels up” – Always heard before takeoff during a jump, as in “wheels up in 10.” No shit, I hope the fucking landing gears retract, that would be proper function.

    “Barracks whore” – Just a good old common slut in normal people talk.

    “Dooey” – referring to a soldier who got a DUI over the weekend, again already a fucking acronym.

    “The pig” – Any belt fed machine gun. Man the fuck up and learn to carry a few extra pounds.

    “In the shit” – Firefight, chow hall fight, intense call of duty battle, not sure, used by assholes.

    “Humping” – Generally meant carrying weight, or a ruck. To me that is sexual intercourse.

    “Throw some rounds down range” – Shooting… which generally the bullets do go away from you… I think…