Velocity Systems

Archive for the ‘WTF?’ Category

The Asymmetric Pastry Device

Sunday, September 25th, 2022

www.30magazineclip.com

Ask SSD – What’s The Goofiest Emails You’ve Received?

Saturday, August 27th, 2022

Dear SSD,

I know you occasionally share on Facebook whacky emails you receive from readers. What’s the goofiest?

A Friend

Well Friend, this one isn’t the goofiest, but it’s up there. It came in about a year ago.

SSD

You Won’t Believe This One

Sunday, July 24th, 2022

Recently, Air Force Central’s 378th Air Expeditionary Wing issued this press release.

Yep, the “big guns” which consists of M4 carbines. I really don’t mean to make fun of stuff like this, but an F16 can carry over sight tons of ordnance and is equipped with a 20mm cannon. In light of that, there’s nothing big about an M4.

The real problem is what I’ve maintained for over two decades now, that the US Air Force is institutionally afraid of guns. They’ve got enough firepower to destroy any enemy several times over, but firearms weird them out.

Anyone Ever Get The Blue Ones?

Monday, June 27th, 2022

The ubiquitous government issue Skilcraft pen. I always got the black ones but apparently they came in blue as well.

Caption This

Sunday, June 26th, 2022

This image of an Air Force cadet attending a Special Warfare Orientation Course was recently posted to the USAF IG account.

Beams x Crocs Classics

Wednesday, December 8th, 2021

You’ve probably seen these “Tactical Crocs” and thought they were an imaginary creation for laughs on social media.

I know FOB life isn’t what it used to be, but you can actually buy these. Japanese store Beams has teamed with Crocs to introduce four models of these clog inspired shoes which feature superfluous PALS webbing and pouches for your whatnots.

Get yours for that next CTC rotation at www.crocs.com/c/collabs/beams.

Ask SSD – “Why Don’t You Have A Search Bar?”

Tuesday, August 24th, 2021

We recently received this email from an obviously upset reader, asking us to add a “simple search bar.”

The thing is, we do have a search bar and have since the site was created over 13 years ago. It’s marked “search” and everything.

I’d like to thank the confused reader for reminding us that there’s no such thing as a stupid question, just stupid people.

As for those “friggin ads,” they pay for this site. Please visit them and buy from those great brands. Except you, the guy who wrote this, you don’t seem like the kind of customer I’d wish on an enemy.

Blast from the Past – Kick Some Ass with a Rolled Up Magazine

Saturday, July 24th, 2021

I’m sharing this for a whooping fifth time because it is so awesome. However, while this video is quite entertaining, Professor Duncan was the real deal. Unfortunately, he passed away in 2012. A former Marine, may he Rest In Peace.

If you are a fan of our WTF? series of articles then this one is for you. We think we have identified the mother of all WTF?s and all future articles will be judged against this one. This is awesome!

Professor Ronald Duncan is providing instruction in the art of Hoda Korosu; the art of improvised weaponry. I was actually quite pleased to see this as I have been telling my kids since they were little that you could turn anything into a weapon. I don’t think they really ever believed me until now.

Ever get your ass kicked with a rolled up magazine? Well be careful with this information. It can be dangerous. Seriously, someone (yes it was one of those doubting Thomas children of mine) almost put my eye out earlier. If you do put your eye out, (or anything else) remember, we warned you.

Finally, I gotta say, seeing this guy I immediately think of Pootie Tang and the belt. Then again, if this doesn’t work for you, there’s the Craig Sawyer method.