I was a freshly minted Infantry Staff Sergeant in the spring of 1981 attending the 25th Infantry Division’s Basic Non-Commissioned Officers Course. We had a 2-Star guest speaker one day. I admit I don’t recall his name or job title. But I do remember something he said about leadership. He said “I learned everything I know about leadership as a 2nd Lieutenant but it has taken me 30 years to understand what I learned”. I thought that was such an odd statement that it has stuck with me all these years. It simply didn’t make sense to me. How can you learn (know) something and not understand it? But as time passed and I moved into positions of greater responsibility I came to realize that he was absolutely right.
How can that be? Over centuries militaries have collected and codified time tested “principles of leadership”. In the US Military NCOs and Officers are formally taught and retaught at every level HOW to lead. They learn the principles and read historical examples of successful and less-than-successful leaders. But all of that fine education still doesn’t deliver or guarantee understanding. It is much like the old saw about pornography. You only know leadership when you see it. Leadership is truly an art not a science. And like any art the fundamentals of the craft can be taught in a classroom. But true understanding requires context derived from experience. In other words, in order to begin to understand leadership you have to lead…more than once. And from each small success or failure you become a little more knowledgeable on the subject. Eventually you start to grasp the hardest part of the equation. That is fully understanding WHY leadership works (or doesn’t) in any given situation.
I’m still trying to get there. But I have had more than my share of opportunities to lead. And I have had the good fortune to serve with countless exemplary leaders of all ranks. I can tell you up front that I learned the most from the very best leaders. But I learned the most important lessons from the worst leaders I encountered. And I also came to realize that when it comes to leadership we aren’t all ever going to be Picassos. But almost all of us – with a little effort and training – can be competent artists. But will the audience on this site find any value in my ruminations on the subject? I don’t know. SSD has graciously allowed me the chance to conduct an experiment to find out. So I am going to share some of my experiences and perspective in these areas, and you tell me. I original wrote and shared a somewhat shorter version of the piece below with some still serving friends in the summer of 2011 as I was beginning my retirement transition. TLB
A “grey man” is a cadre term used at the Special Forces Qualification Course (SFQC) to describe a student who seems to expend most of his energy trying to blend into the background. And although he never causes any trouble for the cadre and generally “meets the standard”; he also fails to distinguish himself, studiously avoids risk, and rarely contributes anything of value to his student team or the mission at hand. A “grey leader” is a term I just coined and it refers to someone who displays the same characteristics but is in a leadership position or by virtue of seniority (NCO or Officer) is expected to lead. Admittedly, the terms are somewhat vague like the men and women they can be used to describe. Grey man is not exactly derogatory…but it is also clearly not complimentary. I can assure you that being the “gray man” in a group is certainly not desirable.
In November of 1976 I was in the 18th month of my initial 4 year enlistment. And at that moment, things were not going well for me. I was standing outside my Infantry Company Commander’s office waiting to report to him. Earlier in the week I had been in a very public and heated altercation with a “hard stripe” sergeant, E-5 in the unit motorpool. I had not started the argument, but once it was initiated I participated enthusiastically. I had been wearing “acting jack” sergeant stripes for almost 8 months and wasn’t about to back down. It was the most recent in a series of minor but less than positive incidents I had been involved in. I had also not bothered to hide the fact that I was not happy with being in a mech infantry unit that spent 90% of its collective time performing maintenance on M113s. I reminded everyone who would listen that I had joined the army to be an Infantryman not a mechanic. In short, I had identified myself as something of a problem soldier or troublemaker for my leaders. I was definitely not a grey man.
Almost as soon as I positioned myself in front of my CO’s door, my First Sergeant and Platoon Sergeant had come out of the office and rather unceremoniously replaced my sergeant’s strips with specialist (E-4) rank. I was shocked. I had been really proud of those stripes even though they were temporary and I had not thought that I would lose them over this particular incident. I had little time to dwell on my “demotion”. Moments later I had reported to my Commander and stood at attention before him awaiting my fate. My Lieutenant and Platoon Sergeant stood stoically on one side of the Captain’s desk with the First Sergeant on the other side but only the Captain talked.
He pushed two documents forward on his desk. One was an ART 15. I knew what they looked like since we usually had 3 or 4 new ones posted on our company bulletin board almost every week. The other was a Request for Transfer to the Divisional Pathfinder Detachment that I had previously discussed with the First Sergeant. The Captain glared at me and proceeded to explain that I had left him only two choices; either impose an ART 15 or endorse my Request for Transfer. He listed in excruciating detail the reasons why I didn’t deserve a second chance and how I had failed miserably to perform up to the standard expected of an NCO. Had there been any more tension in the room I would have wet myself. The Captain ended his “lecture” by saying “Baldwin, you are exactly as much trouble as you are worth”. Then, without any further comment, he signed the transfer document.
The Captain was right. At that point in my development I was not the soldier or leader I needed to be. But I wasn’t a truly a bad soldier either. I was misaligned and a poor fit for that assignment. My Platoon Sergeant and First Sergeant had seen me struggling and they had convinced the commander to take a chance that I could be salvaged in a different unit. I’m not sure if the Captain saw much potential in me, but he took the risk and sent me on my way. He also demonstrated some level of confidence that I could “soldier out” of my current challenges. And now, after a colorful and relatively successful 36 year career I hope that I have justified some of their trust in me. None of those men were grey leaders. Grey leaders wouldn’t have made the effort. It would have been easier for them to simply continue to pound the square peg soldier (me) into a round hole that I was ill suited to fill.
Bad leaders, including grey leaders, at best see soldiers as tools to be used to further his or her career. At worst they see soldiers as potential career ending hazards to mitigate and suppress. Bad leaders do not trust their subordinates. Good leaders see soldiers as precious National resources not to be exploited, but to be mentored, cultivated, nurtured and employed wisely. Good leaders not only trust their subordinates but empower and develop them to their full potential. Good leaders leave a legacy of strong units and strong subordinates. Bad leaders leave disillusioned soldiers and damaged units in their wake. The worst leaders we now aptly refer to as “toxic” and the Army is taking some initial steps to better identify and eliminate those individuals. Grey leaders aren’t as obvious. But I would argue that even though they do less immediate damage their effect is more insidious and does greater long term damage than the more noticeable toxic leader.
My career began just as the Army was transitioning itself from a draft based to a volunteer based manning system following 10 years of war. Today we face a similar transition. My experience in the mid-70s was that many of our combat veteran NCOs and Officers had difficulties transitioning back to a “peacetime” Army mode. Many of the best and most talented voted with their feet and the Army made little effort to retain them. That was unfortunate. Moreover, many of those NCOs and Officers that stayed and thrived in a non-combat environment were mediocre at best. Consummate grey men they were good at following the rules and unfortunately rarely gave cause for elimination. The Army struggled for many years with these conformists who took up space, routinely moving up in the ranks but contributing very little. These Grey leaders even inflicted longer term damage to the Army beyond their individual tenures. Since leaders tend to promote subordinates who look like themselves, grey men tend to beget more grey men. Grey leaders love their subordinates to be grey men. Grey men never take chances; never make waves, and always obey all the rules.
The Army obviously does need disciplined personnel. But the Army needs as many bold, innovative, risk talking soldiers and leaders as it can get. The people we assess with this kind of talent are often more challenging to lead and retain but, when properly shaped and directed, are infinitely more valuable than the grey man. The timid conformists and risk adverse types fill slots but provide little real value. Zero defects policies associated with a “one strike and you’re out” methodology will certainly not engender boldness…but rather encourage and reward the grey men and grey leaders in our ranks. I’m certainly not against enforcing standards or in applying appropriate disciplinary measures to soldiers who need correction. However, I believe it should be in the context of making those individuals better soldiers, not as an easy force sizing tool that defaults to elimination for every offense.
Human nature being what it is, it is very tempting for leaders (even relatively good ones) to simply eliminate anyone who is a “problem” if the system allows them to. Rather than take the harder route of shaping that soldier into something better. The Army is talking a lot now about “managing talent”. But the fact is the mechanisms – and the mindset – are not there. Even after almost 40 years of a volunteer Army we still treat people essentially the same way we did when we had the draft, i.e. interchangeable and easily replaceable. That “one size has to fit all” methodology limits our ability to deal with people as individuals and to effectively leverage their respective talents in support of our mission. In most cases SOF units do better. But even we are often hamstrung by archaic personnel management tools that hurt anyone’s career that doesn’t move with the herd. Just as we have moved to a more information based operational environment, we must move to a more individual based personnel management system. And that system cannot be exclusively “up or out” and certainly not “one strike and you’re out.”
An Army whose ranks are filled only with gray men would be terrible. An Army that is also led by grey leaders would be a disaster. As we move forward with painful but mandated force reductions, I would strongly suggest that the Army would be better served by keeping as many of those so-called “trouble makers” in the ranks as possible. Leaders may have to work harder to productively harness the energy and talent of those individuals, but we will be the stronger for it. And our leaders will be better for making the effort. After we have eliminated the small minority of truly toxic leaders and the few absolutely unsalvageable soldiers, I say cull the grey men next – starting with grey leaders.
LTC Terry Baldwin, US Army (RET) served on active duty from 1975-2011 in various Infantry and Special Forces assignments.
Tags: Terry Baldwin
Thank you for articulating so well what many of us in LE have also experienced.
I had a supervisor who was a “grey leader.” He was never around to provide guidance or leadership. As long as nothing catastrophic happened, he would let his subordinates do whatever they wanted. Some would take advantage of that. Some of my teammates were unsafe/incompetent or simply not around to share in the work. As long as the overall job got done, he didn’t care how it happened. Last I heard, he would rather let some toxic subordinate run amok than do the right thing and formally discipline that person. You can imagine the morale of the team is taking quite a dive.
You’re absolutely right about the long term effects of that kind of “leadership.”
Can you be SECDEF?
Haha….. I was a “grey man”. Lol
But that’s because “BIG ARMY” doesn’t like “critical thinkers”. If you think outside a “TM” or an “FM” , you’re wrong ……(knife-hands).
You may want to reread how the author described “Grey Leaders”. It was no laughing matter.
FTR, It’s not limited to “Big Army”.
Google MAJ Gant and see who wielded the hammer on him. If that isn’t enough check out SFC Martland’s plight.
It’s not only “Big Army” that punishes critical thinkers or those with principles but those are exactly the kind of leaders we need…
I thought you were talking about our Armed Forces because that’s fully applicable.
That matches what Field Marshal Erich von Manstein said: http://straighttogo.com/clever-and-lazy/
Terry, that’s exceptionally well written. Can I reprint it on my site with full credit to you and SSD?
My only observation is that I believe the “Grey Leader” ratio reached critical mass before the current conflict which explains much of our tactical and up ineptitude.
The ROE in Afghanistan is a perfect example. The administration set a standard of zero civilian casualties. While that sounds great and should be the goal it isn’t a realistic standard. You end up giving the enemy a shield to hide behind that they will increasingly use. “Grey Leaders” will increasingly restrict the use of force at lower levels to not “make waves”. A classic result is what happened to Dakota Meyer and William Swenson when they were denied appropriate and beforehand promised support in the Gangal Valley. Swenson was further punished for not following the “Grey Leader” protocol when he called out the stupidity. His Medal of Honor recommendation was lost and Petraeus himself said he couldn’t recall the packet coming across his desk where it was last tracked.
majrod,
I have no problem with you reposting as long as SSD is ok with it.
I agree with you that anytime a leader establishes zero defects as a minimum acceptable standard he or she is setting up subordinates for almost certain failure.
And I also agree that gray leaders almost never grow out of it. A grey Captain will be an even grayer General if he gets that far.
Of course, they can be very good spot light rangers and put on a show of being dynamic leaders if they know their seniors are watching.
But they revert to type and the safety of greydom as soon as possible.
TLB
I would like to add that there are also other personalities at play besides the grey leader or grey man.
I am a good leader. I am not a great leader. I was more than content to be a doer that worked for a great leader. Where I excelled was pushing that great leader. I always questioned their motivations, tactics, training approaches.
Not to discredit them but to make them always think of “another way” or “out of the box”. I was fortunate enough not to ever get fired for this. Many of them appreciated it and used it to make their decisions better.
When I was put in leadership positions, I always excelled. I was technically and tactically proficient, I used the mission, buddy, self standard, and I was a good leader under fire. However, I never felt comfortable as a leader, like I was always forgetting something. I don’t like that feeling, so it made me a better follower. I was the guy asking the leader if he remembered this or that? Did we have a PACE? Why are we doing this mission again? Is it worth our efforts? Will we get desired results? Or did higher just tell us to do it? Why?
The effective team is made up of several different “types”. Some grey leaders can be turned into great leaders by the team that pushes them. Or at the least, mitigated, and the mission accomplished with them being pushed aside. Don’t be discouraged because you have a grey leader. Force them to be effective leaders.
Miclo18d,
Well said and very true!
Leadership is not an individual sport. It is a team event. Strong leaders contribute to making teams stronger. Strong teams make good leaders better.
And of course, weak leaders or not so strong teams can have the opposite effect.
TLB
Glad to see this… I think that will be my leadership style (reservist NCO… recently got picked up for a commission!)
I’ve always done better with leadership that lays out standards and desired end state, and lets me figure out the best mechanism. I tend to lead that way myself… and I see how that leadership style, from a certain perspective, looks like “Grey Man” leadership.
Mick,
Not really. A gray man does like to distance himself from any hard or controversial decision making. To him a decision is like a hand grenade and he doesn’t want to pull the pin himself if he can avoid it.
However, a gray leader doesn’t want to leave it to a subordinate either (since he might still get the blame). Gray leaders tend to encourage and reward grayness from their subordinates.
Leaders who delegate decisions have confidence in their subordinates. Gray leaders do not have that kind of confidence.
TLB
Terry, were you an ocs graduate?
DAN,
Yes I was.
TLB
Go for it Rod!
Thanks Terry/SSD. FYI http://gruntsandco.com/leadership-training-terry-baldwin/?hubRefSrc=email&utm_source=lfemail&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=lfnotification#lf_comment=393127382
Terry,
What an awesome article!!!! SSD needs more of this! As a retiree from 2011 as well, this article is close to home as your story is so familiar.
Wow, SSD, more of this! I say more!
A7
Excellent post.
Grey leader should be an official term
With the way the military has been going in the past decade or two and the ever increasing encroachment of PCness in the military it really makes me wonder how and if we’re going to be able to produce any more outstanding leaders and officers. Are we going to be able to produce any more Pattons or Chesty Pullers, or MacArthurs in the future. Patton is a great example, the consummate warrior and arguably a soldier’s soldier who, even in a far less PC time and later during war time, had a checkered career because he was very outspoken and often rocked the boat. Would Patton survive today’s Army and be given a major combat command or would he be cashiered as a Lt or Capt for being too outspoken and not willing to play strictly by the book. Remember, this is a man who was eventually relieved of command after the successful invasion of Italy for (amongst other thing certainly) slapping a soldier for what we now would consider PTSD and was sidelined until after Overlord was over and we had already started gaining ground in France. Do we have another Patton in the making or has he already gotten out because they weren’t PC enough?
Terry:
Wow. I really enjoyed this. I first served with you in the 82nd in 82-85, and then the next time I saw you was in Iraq (I don’t remember which tour or year…I had four there). Just thought I’d let you know I’m still kicking around–this time in Afghanistan. Thanks for writing this, my friend. Lot of good lessons for all of us. Jeff B
Sir,
I remember. The last I heard you were in DC. Good to hear that you are still in the fight. Be safe. VR Terry
Terry, all these years and I’ve seen a side to you I wasn’t aware of. Well written prose.. glad a mutual friend sent it. DOL
Just trying to stay out of trouble Chris!
TLB