“Survival kit contents check. In them you’ll find:
– One forty-five caliber automatic
– Two boxes of ammunition
– Four days’ concentrated emergency rations
– One drug issue containing antibiotics, morphine,
vitamin pills, pep pills, sleeping pills, tranquilizer pills
– One miniature combination Russian phrase book and Bible
– One hundred dollars in rubles
– One hundred dollars in gold
– Nine packs of chewing gum
– One issue of prophylactics
– Three lipsticks
– Three pair of nylon stockings.
Shoot, a fella’ could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with all that stuff.”
Major T. J. “King” Kong
How dare you show such flagrant disregard for our troops survival by telling our enemies so publicly what we give them to depend on in the worst-case scenario. I’m reporting this to the Air Force. General Ripper will shut SSD down.
It’s in English. If it were in Russian or any other language then opsec would of taken care of this. Also, since the bud light knight is dead and we only have to worry about dragons then welll DILLY, DILLY!!!
What would the modern equiv include if such a glorious thing existed?
There is a lot of room for satire in this. I hope the comments live up to it.
Depends on the pilots branch.
Air Force Emergency Kit
1 x MP7
2 x mags
3 x MREs (breakfast lunch and dinner)
4 x solid gold bricks
5 x lipsticks (cherry red)
1 x premium carrying case
Navy
1 x MP5
2 x mags
3 x MREs
1 x MRE
5 x bottles of suntan lotion
1 x old carrying case
Marine Corps
1 x M9
0 x spare mags
A cliff bar
No money
All wrapped in a hustler magazine from 1974
1974….the bush years
Now the box contains an iPad with 250GBs assorted porn and a log of grizzly long cut.
I have a correction to make. The Marine Corps pilot has no emergency kit because his aircraft has no ejection mechanism.
Also his M9 has one round in it.
Thank You…..You have restored my faith in humanity
I got hosed. Mine just came with a bunch of cards reminding me not to sexy harass anyone, traffic in persons, discrimate against people based on their immutable characteristics, and the numbers to call if there is a grievance to be filed. It came with box of white guilt, too.
But no bottle of precious bodily fluids.
This post and replies made my day…. Thanks.
Who should I report it to so that it can be removed!?
POE…
Rainwater and pure-grain alcohol
$100 in gold is now less than 2 grams…
Down with the federal reserve wealth stealing scheme! Not federal! No reserves!
As a (very) old SAC crew dog, I can state our reality was:
1. Penetrate the Soviet air defenses and get to your target
2. Kill your target
3. Try like hell to egress back to safe territory
4. If #2 fails, which it undoubtedly will, try to get the bird as close to safe territory as possible, then depart the aircraft in an orderly and proficient military manner. (I always felt sorry for the tail gunner, whose departure from the jet involved blowing the ass end of the rear fuselage off, then simply stepping out into space.)
5. Walk 2300 miles through enemy territory, with the entire population searching for you, to a recovery area
You can see how much we treasured the contents of our E&E kits!
I watched a documentary on Thud pilots last night, one of them said ,almost word for word, the same thing.
I think you’d better run this through the C R.M. 114 Discriminator to ensure it is legitimate and not Rooskie counter-intelligence.
Interesting Factoid –
Maj. Kong originally said “Dallas” not “Vegas” but JFK was assassinated in Dallas right after the film had its first limited-release sneak previews. The studio hastily recorded an voice overdub to replace “Dallas” with “Vegas” for the film’s national release.
If you watch closely, you can see that Slim Pickens is mouthing “Dallas” when the soundtrack says “Vegas”.
http://mentalfloss.com/article/63436/15-things-you-might-not-know-about-dr-strangelove
CLASSIC! Thanks for the morning laugh all.