“I wouldn’t trade my old ODs for all the Navy’s dungarees.”
-‘Dog Faced Soldier’, the 3d Infantry Division Song
Marnemen everywhere rejoice as life imitates art. In a shocking move, Army officials have confided in Soldier Systems Daily that they plan to abandon the Camouflage Improvement Effort that has left Soldiers without an effective camouflage pattern despite several years and tens of millions of dollars.
Army officials are quoted as saying, “We fought three wars in OD. Why not go back to it?” Turns out, the old “Pickle Suit” worn by the US Army until 1987 is readily available after an enterprising supply officer stumbled upon a large stockpile of OG fatigues forgotten years ago in Germany by the US Air Force.
As US forces drawdown forces in Europe, long abandoned facilities are being turned over to host nation governments. At a former supply depot in Germany a newly commissioned supply officer recently uncovered warehouse after warehouse of the uniforms complete with field jackets and Velcro caps. When he alerted his superiors, they passed word up to the Army G4 staff who looked upon the news as a sign from heaven that they could use this boon to survive the Sequestration axe and Congressionally mandated reinstatement of Tuition Assistance. Coincidentally, he also ran across a rather large stash of C-rations which are currently enroute to the fighting in Afghanistan to make up for those dining facilities now only serving two meals per day. One insider sent us a glowing note praising the find and referring the equipment as “sunk cost.” “Hey,” he said, “it’s already paid for, like in the 60s. I mean, who doesn’t have fond memories of winters at Graf wearing that old Velcro hat?”
What’s old is new as the Army goes retro. Who hasn’t seen the movie “Stripes” which is probably one of the most popular films to feature the US Army? The iconic OD uniform plays prominently in that movie as well as anything about World War II, Korea or Viet Nam including “Apocalypse Now.”
While Soldiers will soon be rocking the classic OD uniform of yesteryear, a so-called digicam pattern similar to the Marine Corps pattern will be applied to all US Army vehicles. “Vehicles are expensive and there’s nothing too good for our rolling stock,” commented one procurement official who was not authorized to speak on the record to SSD, adding, “That Marine Camo is good stuff. Too bad they wouldn’t let us give it to the troops 10 years ago.”
The US Army plans to make the switch effective April 1st 2014 barring any other announcements to the contrary.
Wow! It’s amazing this decision just happens to be breaking on April Fools day. Of all the goofy April fools jokes I’ve seen, this might be the silliest.
April Fools 😉
It’s about damn time. I actually still have a pair of mine, though they seem to have shrunk over the last two decades. Weird.
Yeah, I noticed that myself. When I retired from the USAF they fit perfectly. Now there seems to be something in my closet that caused them to shrink, really badly. lol
Don’t worry Dave you aren’t the only one whose uniforms have gotten smaller…lol
Yes…….April Fools!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sweet! Now if the Navy will just go back to dungarees, all will be right with the world…
I liked their April fools about the Stetson better.
Yeah, yeah. 1st of April
This would make sense as the Army was trying to go back to it’s “roots” with the whole blue ASU thing. It wouldn’t surprise me in the least. Plus OD dye must be cheaper than digital patterns, then again I’m not textile smart.
Awesome work Soldier Systems! 🙂
The decision to go with the OG 107 weight and cut… bold move.
Well done
It’s too good to be true
April Fools!!!!
Sounds good, John Candy approves
LMAO! Well played!
Haha, nice try.
This would be so awesome, or at least go to ranger green in the new cut. But sadly today is only a good day for pranks…
Well played, well played.
How about the footwear? Black leather or OD jungles? Either way Joe needs something to do and what could be better than polishing boots? Breaking starch perhaps?
The saddest part about all this ? We are all the ‘April Fools’ as we have to pay the bill for a digital pattern that is hardly any better than the OD green used in the 70’s and early 80’s in actual use yet cost all of us millions and millions of dollars
Gotta love that leadership we have in this country don’t you ? On every level
I love hearing from a guy that has been taught a thing or two about about camo and has used it in operations and training alike. I have been using different forms of camo for a good while now and I think a solid color chest rig defeats the purpose of camo in many cases and black rifles do as well. At the very least, a mix and match of OD green and Coyote gear pouches should be allowed in order to reduce the obvious target area that solid color vests and rigs give camo uniforms.
In my experience, my MARPAT woodland uniforms are a lot more effective at blending in to background and breaking up outlines than my old woodland pattern uniforms which were pretty decent. One that is surprisingly effective even here in the states is the German Flecktarn. Almost on par with MARPAT. I just don’t believe our government leadership is smart enough to avoid being taken to the cleaners on a pattern that is mass produced and sold commercially as quickly or faster than the government machine can start producing them.
I recall you doing a segment on one of your shows on Multicam. Do you still endorse it?
How about this?
Camo Improvement Effort goes to monotone patterns:
OG-107 for woodland
MJ Khaki/Coyote Tan for transitional and OCIE
Tan 499 for arid/desert.
…or the ‘Desert Sand’ color that was specified as the hardware color for AOR 1 equipment.
Just for the record, it takes a man with real steel between his legs to wear a flamboyant ascot with their combat uniform.
Let’s not forget the shiny brass belt buckles.
“Have you ever been convicted of a felony?”
Convicted? No, never convicted.”
OG107s (shirt & trou) cost $8 for a set in 1987.
Using an inflation calculator, that’s $16 today.
Yep, “April Fools” on many levels.
Good one SSD and a toast to when camouflage was something you did and didn’t buy. There’s a lesson there…
I would welcome OG 107 Jungles with open arms if this were true.
The sad thing is….. for a split second I got excited about this. Happy April Fools!!
Good to go- now for another april fools joke- Can we drop the whole 45. cal. thing and switch back to 9mm? ROFL!
Don’t you mean dropping 9mm and going to .45 cal?
i was think sweet OD IS BACK thne i remembered what day it is
I’ll admit, this one really had me going there for a second. Almost forget that it was April 1st! Good one SSD 😉
I’ve been saying for years that Crye got it right with Ranger green, khaki, and multicam. You don’t need camo for garrison and I know from personal experience that Ranger green and khaki work well in woodland and desert environments.
At the end of the crafted April Fool article there is one archival shot: an M113 of the 2nd ACR painted in the first texture match pattern (now called “digital”, which is a misleading name).
A note: The UCP pattern was substandard because of color choices; other texture-match designs (e.g., MARPAT, AOR) perform very well. It’s important to understand that color and pattern geometry are independent design elements.
Tim, thanks for weighing in. I used the photo as a device to pick on the Marines a little bit for starting the whole proprietary pattern stuff. Although, it is kind of ironic that when that photo was taken, vehicles were camouflaged but Soldiers weren’t.