SureFire

Mr Janky Speaks Out

Over the weekend we posted a story about trolls.  While there was some pure gold in the comments, this one stood out head and shoulders above the rest.  Mr Janky, we salute you!

It’s a shame that those of us that come to SSD for a daily industry update are continually subjected to the ramblings of the poser douche.

The poser douche knows everything about everything. He’s on the side of socialism when the rest of us are on the side capitalism.

He was never issued a specific weapon but he knows more about it than those who put thousands upon thousands of rounds through the one they were issued by Uncle Sam.

He’s also a manufacturing guru and knows the cost of labor and business.

The poser douche can spot a counterfeit or knock-off widget a mile away on FB or Instagram. He almost always calls them out online even if the company he defends knocked off the widget that’s been in the hands of real users for years.

The poser douche loves all of the JSOC buzz words and uses them extensively.

He’s also a textiles and fabrics expert and requests online that everyone hurry up to make products to support his needs (think Tiger Stripe webbing or something similarly unimportant).

The poser douche holds his gear/apparel to a higher standard and he loves this forum because he can show off his tactical-know-how-prowess (X course he attended with X instructor).

The poser douche is also very clever and sometimes just comments “+1” when a real user jumps in the conversation. Instant cred!

Cost is very important to the poser douche because he doesn’t get issued the cool guy stuff. It’s very likely that he combs eBay for used items (usually AOR camo stuff).

The poser douche usually name drops as a part of his vernacular. It may be his favorite instructor or his favorite tier 1 unit- these vary depending on world events or social media stature.

The poser douche can instantly identify other poser douches online. He usually calls them out with comments such as “cool story bro” or makes the casual “+1” when someone else legit calls them out.

Here’s to you, poser douche! May you fester in online anonymity!

-Mr Janky

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41 Responses to “Mr Janky Speaks Out”

  1. Erik says:

    Cool story bro. +1. Doesn’t fit my mission profile. Too expensive. Don’t like the side cuts on the legs, UDT shorts don’t have them.

    • Pierre says:

      In a country that prides itself on freedom of speech people are very quick to attack each other. This is a personal blog run by Eric. What is wrong with people having an opinion? People get upset because it doesn’t match their own? What happened to having good discussions on topics?

      • straps says:

        The concern is that some (trolls) allege more experience or expertise than that actually possess. That’s a misuse of freedom.

        We don’t need a law against those people, but some attention from the Editor is appropriate.

        • SSD says:

          Some people get mad when I ferret out the BSers. They want SSD to be a place where they can say any old thing from behind the safety of their firewall.

    • Miclo18d says:

      Awesome comment bro!

      +1000!!!!

      SSD, can you wing me some freebies bro? Cool comment on the whole Multicam issue bro!

      Everybody see the cool gadget for not getting Glock Leg? Yeah, I invented it years ago but my patent was stolen by those posers! You know what I’m sayin’ bro!

  2. Dellis says:

    +1

    Nice!

  3. BAP45 says:

    Hahahaha, this certainly has been an entertain couple of days on SSD

  4. Strike-Hold says:

    “He is the most Douchiest poser in the world.”

    • BAP45 says:

      Someone need to make a video of that. along the line of the “most secure man in the world” one that was posted the other day. haha

      • Chris says:

        When I read this post before, the narrators voice was playing in my head and I had the exact same thought….

  5. Chris says:

    Look we need Woodland webbing ok. The TACOs HSGI are making right now might as well be plain OD because the woodland codura is covered by so much plain green webbing.

    This is important.

    • Pierre says:

      Everyone is picky about what they spend their money on, whether it’s nice jeans, shoes and even tactical gear. With the market being so saturated, you have to stand out in a world where all your competitors are made in USA with the same materials you use.

      It’s easy to poke fun at people for wanting their items to match better but in reality it’s their money and they just choose to be picky over something you don’t.

      • Chris says:

        I was only about 33% joking, I’m just a gear geek REMF and very much enjoy colour matched webbing/edging tape/loop on my kit.

    • Henrik says:

      Isn’t it “Camo-green” webbing that goes with the US Woodland pattern 😉

    • straps says:

      Uh, bro, HSGI has been using Murdock Woodland webbing for a minute.

      But I’m not going near that gear until they get pattern-matching grosgrain for proper taped seams, so when I’m operating operationally I can do so with fully effective camouflage.

  6. Ben says:

    What about the non-poser douche category?

  7. Jason says:

    +1!

  8. Pierre says:

    I do not understand the surprise of “poser douche” comments. You run an internet blog with a comments section. Unfortunately the more popularity and viewer base you will always attract more positive and negative comments. It’s reality.

    I would suggest to install a different comment management system, such as DISQUS so people can thumbs up and thumbs down comments as well as hiding comments. You should never delete comments instead have intelligent rebutle.

    If you think the comments are bad here (which they’re not) go visit http://www.hypebeast.com and read the comments there. It’s the nature of the beast of having a popular internet blog. Also don’t forget that constructive criticism is also great feedback for manufacturers.

    Anyway that is my opinion!

  9. faulkner says:

    +1

  10. Washington says:

    “The poser douche knows everything about everything. He’s on the side of socialism when the rest of us are on the side capitalism.

    He was never issued a specific weapon but he knows more about it than those who put thousands upon thousands of rounds through the one they were issued by Uncle Sam.”

    lmao. “this cartoonish caricature I’m going to reduce anyone I don’t like down to is on the side of socialism, us good guys are on the side of capitalism. they were never issued a weapon by the state on behalf of their beloved leader like we were.”

    • Terry B. says:

      Washington,

      Uncle Sam is only a symbol that is the personification of all the people of the United States.

      Uncle Sam does not represent any “dear leader” or imply slavish devotion to “the state’.

      The American people are the bosses that those of us in uniform or formerly in uniform serve.

      Those people willing provide moral support and resources – including issue weapons – for all military personnel in support of our collective National Defense.

      And none of us that wear the uniform of this country have ever done so on behalf of any “beloved leader”.

      So I’m wondering what exactly are you trying to say?

      TLB

      • Terry B. says:

        Washington, et all,

        I see that I connected the wrong dots vis a vie Uncle Sam and your comment about “cartoon character”.

        Too quick on my send trigger finger. My apology for that.

        I still question what you intended by the “beloved leader” business.

        TLB

  11. Davan says:

    Sounds like Tyler white aka onearmcrank

  12. JD says:

    Rants about tac shorts in multicam black for sub $100 perfectly valid. Let alone trying to find a manufacturer that will even make enough in my size so i can order em. Is this even the right place to post this or did i miss it by a day! Uggggghhhhh

  13. jjj0309 says:

    +1
    11/10
    G8 story m8
    Would read again

  14. zig zag says:

    If this comment was the “gold” I’m glad I didn’t read the others…

  15. Stefan S. says:

    “Poser douche” applies to Politicians as well. They never served but know what you need and what to cut. Whole article sounds like Obama to me. Yes, I went there!

  16. darrel says:

    I read down the list and it all sounded more and more like me.

    Honestly, I just hate on most companies. There’s very little that I like, and for the stuff that I do, there’s no way I would actually waste time to sing their praises. I want LBT to release more in MAS Grey, and I actively troll eBay for rare FSBE and AOR1 goodness.

    The only AR theme that interests me is the Mk18. I am a Crye Fanboy. I like the ATPIAL-C even thought the DBAL-A3 is the same thing. I use an inisght dual switch because it looks cool even though I use a SF light.

    I have five plate carriers, all of them top of the line, but only wear one at work because it’s the only one that doesn’t attract too much attention.

    Am I past redemption?

    • Jon, OPT says:

      That’s called having an opinion, taste, and character. Trolls are just haters who have to speak against whatever is being said; they yell about problems yet offer no, or poorly thought out solutions; generally they attack people and not issues.

      Keep going with your bad self.

      Jon, OPT

  17. ahhhhhclever says:

    this is a straight up checklist

  18. FHRITP says:

    Whoever runs this sites head would probably explode in frustration if ppl were able to post memes

  19. nwjeep says:

    That was on point and it still garnered some butthurt. That’s alright, I have my popcorn today.

  20. Disco says:

    I got “corrected” by a fat kid at a gun store for calling a 20″ AR15 ‘the long one’.
    He summarily declared it obsolete and said ‘you need an M4’.

    I still call M4s CAR-15s and any A-whatever ‘the long one’.

    When someone lacks understanding or experience; they rattle off stats.
    While these losers wack it to Guns & Ammo I concern myself with more important things like cartoons and whatever else. I dunno.

    I just hate people these days. You know?

  21. John says:

    Is this the new site description?

  22. OND-JAG says:

    Spot on except for the “on the side of socialism” bit. Instant credibility killer. Plenty of wannabes on the Faux News side of the spectrum, too—probably more than on the left, actually.

  23. Fighter says:

    I love SSD.