I’m sure SSD’s readers can come up with some excellent ways to let Maj Gebbie know the error of his ways. Based on the Major’s behavior, the more passive aggressive, the better.
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1. Unplug it all the time.
2. Put various items of his up your ass.
3. Superglue all his shit.
WE HAVE A WINNER!
Put another lock on it – one he doesn’t have a key or combo to.
Or replace it with an identical, but different lock.
Superglue squirted into the key slot on the lock works wonders….
Forgot about that one.
I guarantee that someone would take bolt cutters to that for a log of dip.
I agree with gene about unplugging it. Another fun route is to report it to IG. Especially if it’s government property for the unit. Also, cut his lock off.
The IG would not bother with that.
Source: I work for an IG.
well, if it’s government property that the major is using for himself, it could be an issue of fraud, waste and abuse. Which is where I was going with that. That’s all if it was on the property book though.
And, IG probably wouldn’t bother with it stateside, but if dudes start dropping from heat related injuries, it may be worth a look. That and going to IG is better than just destroying the fridge to spite the major.
An anonymous “fuck off” did the trick at least twice for me.*
*Your mileage may vary. Don’t do this.
The boys ‘find’ another fridge with the help of some aussie kleptomaniacs, major hypochondriac keeps his tho an unfortunate accident renders the coolant fan inoperable whilst large can of Harden the Fuck Up mysteriously appears inside.
“help of some aussie kleptomaniacs”
Foul slander!
Having spent 6 years in RAINF, I lol’d. Well played.
I had a Major in the Balkans that transgressed one time. All the officers hung their hats on the pegs in the lobby of the chow hall. For quite some time he never seemed to have a hat after dinner. It was a brass heavy garrison environment and being the rising 04 he always wanted to shine. We loved to watch him squirm after dinner. He practically IMT’ed all the way back to his room so no higher officer would see him without a cover. On our redeployment day he had to wear a Kevlar all day while the rest of the company was in patrol caps. Looked quite funny in our unit photos. He was a very smart person but not smart enough to ever figure what was happening to his hats.
Read it at first as transgendered, as I read on I decided I was right.
What a douche rocket
Unplugging it is a simple but effective solution.
Request a new Fridge for your co workers and if questions arise, he’ll soon see the error in his ways!
report the incident to the next higher level of command. the major is being childish. let him get a freezer for his office, especially if this is a freezer for the unit. where does he get off saying it is HIS freezer.
on a different tac, you could just take off the lock and hardware, then re-install it on a plastic cooler. then put a new “This is MAJ Geebie’s freezer” sign on the cooler.
I agree with the above. Unplug it, then replace the lock with an idententicle one, and replace the fridge contents with something much more appropriate. Maybe a Polaroid of his toothbrush scrubbing someone’s balls (no distinguishing marks though!).
This is the difference between a leader and a boss.
Gang rape him in the shower.
Well now, that escalated quickly…
Step 1.
Keep it plugged in…but render the coolant properties of the unit in question inoperable.
Step 2.
Have entire Command compile a stash of full wag bags.
Step 3.
Pick lock and fill entire unit with full wag bags, with all of them adorned with Major collar devices.
Step 4.
Secure unit and await the good Major’s reaction
lol, a freezer. Good job buddy. Your troops have a thousand more dangerous fucking things to worry about, and you care about a fucking freezer. Please, take this bronze star from the tax payers. You earned it shit bag.
Unplug it and it’s no longer a freezer
Epoxy or glue in the padlock’s keyway
Cut padlock, remove items. Replace items with dead animal…await reaction
And unplug for full effect.
Let’s start a go fund me or chip in $5 and they can buy the biggest deep freeze possible and lock him out.
That’s a masterlock, literally the most pickable lock on the planet. Airmen like to brag about how smart they are, so picking it should be no problem for those brainiacs. And if you still can’t figure out how to pick it go to your EOD guys and they’ll get in.
Picking it gives you free access to stash all sorts of contraband shit in there and he will be none the wiser.
Remember Major Turd has sole access. Major Turd would have to answer the questions as to why he has beastiality porn, fist dildos, and alcohol locked up in a freezer.
LMFAO thats the best comment yet
Fist dildos
I agree with this course of action.
Then after placing contraband items in the freezer, request the Security Forces to check the freezer…
If said airmen cannot find fist dildos, they should also see the EOD guys. They’ll have an extra 2 or 3.
Just 2 or 3? That’s amateur hour. Don’t forget gimp mask and ball gag.
source- I’m an EOD guy who had some f’n weird Soldiers.
I said an extra 2 or 3. The other dozen will be in full use or unserviceable.
Yup. This one. Done.
We have a winner.
Give it a bit, and the State Department will hear about this, and recruit him away from DoD. DoS spends years trying to instill passive/aggressive qualities in their folks, and he’s already fully trained in that regard.
1000% accurate
Drill a small discreet hole to access the inside. Full the freezer with water or fluid of choice. Seal hole and allow to set.
I would unplug it.
What a petty asshole.
The question here is, whose freezer is that?
Did the Major buy it with his own money? If so, well… Tough titties. His freezer, his rules. He’s a dick, but entitled to it.
Now, if that freezer is unit property, and he’s just appropriated it? LOL… Dude is going to experience a career-truncating event, about the time someone above him finds out about this bullshit. Especially if that freezer is there “for the unit”.
He might have a teensy-eensy little bit of leeway, if that freezer is something he signed for specifically for his medical issues. But, I rather doubt it.
This shit goes viral, his career is over–Unless, of course, he can prove he bought that appliance. Even then… He’s using government-provided electricity.
Let Duffleblog get ahold of this, and you’re going to see some fireworks. Especially once someone points this out to the Air Force PAO, and shows how many people are looking at this and going “WTF? My tax dollars bought that freezer, and this douchecanoe just put a lock on it for his own use…?”.
Duffelblog, you say? ‘Let Duffleblog get ahold of this’? What kind of mean-spirited prick would tell them? One who despises hypochondriacs, jumped-up martinets and the like?
Since this worthless muthafucka has so many aches and pains, he needs to go to a medical review board and get his ass thrown out!
Step 1 Find a new Frig put said Frig somewhere Maj Anus can not get to it easily.
Step 2 Get insulated cutters and cut the power cord to “His” Frig at the unit so as a new cord can not be spliced in.
Step 3 Stop using the term Micro Aggression that term is for week minded D Bags that lack Sack and Intestinal Fortitude.
Someone should put a bigger lock on his lock
No need to pick the lock, bypass it (latch, drivers or bump), use the freezer at will.
Or put inside an used fleshlight and watch him get crazy.
Lift it up in pallets so he can’t reach it.
Epoxy glue into the padlock?
Remove the hardware securing the hasp from the freezer. Reinstall entire assembly on next higher command’s freezer, with the sign. Let them do the work for you.
http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/975/464/97d.gif
Cut open the straps on the freezer. Take out ice packs. Replace with bottles of water. Put ice packs back in, because I’m sure there’s room. Close freezer and place the lock on his desk. Nothing passive aggressive; own it.
He won’t take it up the chain because if we have the full story, it won’t go anywhere. He sure as hell won’t chase you down.
Start a gofundme for a new, bigger unit that can be shipped direct to the men. For their use only. I’m in if someone has the skills to do that.
Let Maj. Assclown ice his chair polishing, self-serving behind.
You never take from your men. Ever.
This may well go down in the history of SSD as one of the most epic threads ever. I’m enjoying the fireworks.
This is going viral on Instagram currently. SKD reposted the solsys post and the brush fire is expanding rapidly.
1. Buy douche kit (I’m confident Amazon can provide)
2. Fill douche bag with water
3. Cut lock
4. Replace maj’s (little ‘m’ intended) ice pack with more appropriate douche bag
5. Allow time for message receipt
What a dumbass and an embarrassment to the officer corps. Since there is only one Maj Gebbie in the AF global email address book, it’s damned tempting to email him and tell him what a jackass he is…
For what it is worth, and I am not defending his/her actions, the Major’s side of the story was posted at the original source of the picture and it painted a vastly different story.
Personally, red flags and star clusters appear as soon as I see anyone from the military use the term “microaggression.” Based off that word alone, I’m guessing they deserved it.
That being said, if he keeps the ice pack in the same spot in the freezer every day, make a big batch of thermite in a flower pot and put it on top of the fridge with the hole from the flower pot positioned directly above where he keeps the ice pack. Light it, wait for him to open the freezer the next morning and enjoy the show. 😀
Any AF General here? Maj. Gebbie wants a post at Thule, Greenland, but is too shy to ask…
Bolt cutters. Lock. simple.
No sympathy for someone who feels “micro-aggression.” Sack up and throw real aggression back at this dork.
Fix all the problems and give the Army its AirCorps back.
No…the Army can’t manage its rotary wing fleet let alone an entire Air Force of myriad capability.
Some context
UPDATE From the Inbox: “In regards to the peasant revolt of Major Freezer: I am a shift lead for one of the sections in this Unit and I spend more time on the flightline than any other member in the squadron bar none. There is more to the freezer story and it involves people being lazy. There are roughly 40 people on day shift, not to mention transients, who traffic through the tent looking for ice cold waters. Most of these takers do not work directly from this tent but are attached in one way or another to our unit. You can guess how few people actually replace the cold water they removed with a room temperature water. Once all the cold waters disappear people start taking the room temp waters because, of course, that is better than drinking the 90 degree water from outside. Somewhere around shift change leadership will notice there are no waters left and tell the random passerby’ers to replenish the stock. The response to this is often throwing an entire 90 degree, dust covered case into the freezer. If you guys know anything about prepping for a party (or thermal enery) you don’t put the unopened case of beer in the fridge because it takes three times as long to cool. The Major was asking people to not do this, as was I (you can see my writing on the white piece of paper). So yes, the Major seems childish in this scenario but every day has become an hour of cleanup for people like me who are out doing the Advise and Assist mission for 8-10 hours in the sun, drinking minimal water during Ramadan (Eid Mubarak), in full kit, but who actually work out of this tent thereby assuming responsibility.
Major Gebbie’s mission is not to be outside on the flightline yet he often still is. Or he is at meetings with coalition and host nation leaders. The tent pictured was his doing both in planning and assembling (in the 110 degree heat). He has made countless improvements to our austere location. He is not the evil fat cat, bane of the bourgeois class all of the torch and pitchfork crowd want him to be. He is a good man and a hell of an officer and I would work for him stateside or deployed gladly.”
The Major doesn’t get to be childish at all. He’s a field grade officer.
So, the answer to it is to remove that asset completely because he is throwing a temper tantrum? What SSD said above. Oh, and Geoff, get off the major’s dick. It’s pathetic.
LOL
Gene, that was a quote, Geoff wasn’t the one who said it.
Reading comprehension – you either have it or you don’t.
I wouldn’t cut the lock. Too easily rectified. I wouldn’t unplug it. Too easily rectified.
I would cut the power cord plug and discard it.
WTF are “Micro Aggressions?” sounds like some snowflakes have infiltrated the AF – I’m sure their is another side to the sorry. In some units this shit gets resolved a lot quicker in person..but go figure, facebook is the go-to now.
SKD still sells the Bag O’ Dicks….
Have that E-5 mafia chip in for one of these memorable deploymwnt keepsakes to remind the good Major of his time as a leader of men… I’m pretty sure they ship APO/FPO….
https://www.skdtac.com/skd-bag-of-dicks-p/skd.808.htm
Get some angle iron and a welder. Weld the fu**er shut. Or, for good measure, use wood with nails, screws and bolts of various sizes and types then jethro up the writing just to add some hillbilly color. You could also mount the fridge to the ceiling, or if this is a tent, build a platform and hang it upside down from it. You could also build a box around it using mitered joints and copious amounts of wood glue then paint the ol SAW face with “Want to play a game?” on the non-descript washer free portion of the box where the door of the fridge USED to be.
…
Or you could also just make a trojan horse ice pack filled with fecal matter in an alcohol solution to leave a pleasant surprise on thaw…
You could also bolt it to the wall or the floor with the door facing the wall with just enough gap that he can barely open it so he ends up using it (with major inconvenience) rather than fixing it because dealing with the pain in the butt is the easier solution.
Or install a speaker and an activate on open switch (like the fridge light) that activates a speaker which plays loud sounds of your choice (I would suggest a good homosexual throat f**king clip or similar; or you could go with a simpler whiny voice saying something asinine about ice packs).
You could also plaster on offensive imagery (like a giant sandy vagina with prominent labia) like wallpaper with roll on glue. Or just bedazzle the whole fridge with rhinstones for a less offensive but equally affronting effect – or just cover it in stripper glitter so he comes away covered in glitter every time he gets his ice pack.
Of course there’s also the option to just anonymously send him a box of poo for a nominal fee.
http://www.shitsenders.com/
Most of these are very “on the nose”, and not passive aggressive at all. So here’s my take:
As someone who has been told I’d cut off my nose to spite my face, I’d take one for the team, and not drink ANY water. I imagine in full gear, on the flight line, sometime just after noon I would face plant, hard.
If everything went according to plan, I’d wake up hours later in a hospital bed. IV in my arm, three or four empty bags in the waste pan next to me. Possibly a morphine drip, if the Dr. had been feeling nice.
Dr. would eventually notice I had regained consciousness, and come have a chat. Then he asks “how much water did you have today” to which I’d be forced to reply (in a barely audible croak) “none”. And, after he finishes berating me, he asks why I didn’t think it was necessary to drink water while working in 110 degree heat, I’d reply (all innocence) “Sir, I wanted to, really. But for some reason the unit’s fridge has a lock on it, and I couldn’t get into it. I guess someone higher up than me didn’t want me having water.” Possibly throw the word “gosh” in there to really sell the Leave it to Beaver level innocence I’m going for.
Word gets out. Problem gets solved. I maintain plausible deniability. And yeah, I may be more susceptible to hot weather injuries for the rest of my life, but I still say I won.
touché my friend best one yet
Wire the door with a tear gas grenade.