SIG MMG 338 Program Series

Blast From The Past – ‘The Suit’

The folks at the AAF Nation Facebook Page posted this meme earlier today. They also put up a reminder to supervisors to not let their first-termers run out and buy a clown suit on deployment because that’s what the guy will end up wearing to his first post-enlistment job interview. With so many Veterans reentering the work force, they bring up a great point. I felt it was time to once again share this gem, which we first put up during our first year, in the Summer of 2008. Get this. It originated as a 2002 opinion piece on “The Morning News“. The info is just as relevant today.

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On Suits

Everyone wants to be Cary Grant. Even I want to be Cary Grant.
—Cary Grant

Without suits, men would have nothing. In the hierarchy of style, a good suit remains a man’s only trump card. Even in this sad age of casual-wear, the suit still carries an air of success, taste, and sophistication. It is designed to make you look better, to break boundaries between social classes, to make a small man tall with pinstripes or a fat man rich with soft wools. The suit looks good in restaurants, trains, dinner parties or Paris; in short, everywhere you want to be. It is, in its best forms, a complete outfit that will never fail you.

And that is exactly what it will do, if you treat it right. Unfortunately the majority of suits you see look awful. This isn’t necessary. Even if you work ten hours with your jacket on, being mindful of your clothing will keep you ready for cocktails after work. Too many men either don’t care or don’t know how to wear a suit, and, suitably, look like shit. This is worth avoiding.

To start us off, a few general rules should be observed when approaching a suit, and most apply to good dressing in general:

The suit, no matter the style, needs to fit your body, closely. This means all pieces should be cut and tailored appropriate to your form. Surprisingly, this doesn’t require a lot of money ($500 can, in fact, get you a good suit) but it does take an eye, and the strength to ignore any saccharine compliments from salesmen.

Trends have six-to-eighteen-month shelf lives. If you plan to retire your suit in this window, feel free to splurge. Otherwise, shop considerately.

Suits are made of wool or cotton, and their variations. Additional fabrics need not apply.

You are an interesting, confident, multi-hued man. Let others learn that from how you behave, not from the label on your jacket.

A suit jacket goes with suit pants, not with jeans or chinos. If you want a casual jacket, buy a sport-coat or a blazer. Stand-up comedians are regularly shot over this rule.

If you’re not comfortable—if you don’t feel the suit’s appropriate for you—the salesman’s looking out for his commission, not your style.

A modestly, well-dressed man has never failed to impress. Yes, never.

Assuming you’re not an investment banker, you don’t need ten suits; you only need four. This means you can be a discerning shopper and spend time accumulating, then keeping your suits in good condition (dry clean once a year, then more for spills; don’t you dare iron it yourself). Think of the process in terms of collecting, spending years searching for that one original-packaged Chewbacca.

The Fab Four

The Standard Blue: Great for business, lunches, New York Mayors, summer dinners, or casual parties. Can be worn with black or brown shoes, even white if you’re daring. Reflects well by a pool. Standard blue means navy, with no room for paler shades, even if you went to U.N.C.

The Classic Gray: Appropriate for everything and even makes a red-head look dandy. Grays also are the best with patterns, especially anything in the chevron family. Start with plain, move to window-pane. Even such, the gray is never controversial. It’s the Switzerland of suits.

The Basic Black: Our favorite and the perennial classic, it’s a fit at the Oscars or your sister’s wedding, the perfect compliment to a good white shirt, beloved by gangsters, designers, and undertakers (those jobs with the highest doses of fashion-conscious aptitudes; respectively, aggression, vanity, and wisdom). If you only own one suit, this is it. You can even be buried in it.

Any of the above, with pinstripes.

The Jacket

So. You’ve picked your color and you’re ready for the fit. First comes the jacket. Never was a suit bought for the pants and repeatedly worn afterwards. Pants are easily adjusted by a tailor, jackets can only have minor improvements. Think of true love: it must be close to just-right at first, with a slight thrill when you put it on, the coup de foudre as the French say.

First off: are you a single-breasted man or a double? While both styles can fit most body types, single-breasted jackets tend to flatter the slim while double-breasted jackets make the broad look mighty. This doesn’t imply being “skinny&” or “fat,” it’s simply about your tits; hence the term “breasted.” Choose the jacket style that you can best fill out—from there you’ll always look best. David Letterman, who can rarely be found not wearing a double-breasted jacket, skirts this rule by sitting behind a desk. Notice how uncomfortable he is during the monologue, fussing with his buttons while standing full-view before the camera.

To those opting for the single-breasted jacket, you’ll have to choose how many buttons you want. One? Hmm. Two? Excellent. And returning in popularity. Three? Certainly good, and was much sought-after in the recent past though it’s now reached near total market saturation. But, still classic, and hopefully always available.

Of course, jackets also come in four-, five-, and six-button styles, each with their own fifteen minutes of fame. Four-button jackets have been sported by everyone from The Beatles to Steve Harvey. Can you sport one? Of course! But no, not this season…

Last, the fit. Like we said before, close to the body, but no wrinkles when you button. Vents, double or single, are preferred to the vent-less jacket that, nine times out of ten, looks like a giant condom from behind. Shoulder pads should be avoided—you’re no linebacker—but a tailor will gouge you if you show up post-purchase and ask him to reduce the heft.

Finally, before we move onto trousers, there is one ticklish in-between: the vest. We can put this simply. If you’re ready to buy a vest, you’re either old enough to sport one or dangerously disillusioned. A good rule of thumb: Alfred Hitchcock looked great in vests. Young Jimmy Stewart looked out of his league. Pick your man.

The Trousers

You must now choose a trouser style. There have been, in the history of men’s trousers, a few trends that fucked with a good thing: bell-bottoms, bibs, clam-diggers, “cargo.” Unfortunately, all of these styles eventually found their way into suits.

Men, generally, will take any pants that come with a jacket. Being men, we want some control over how they look—“How they work,” thinks the man—but not too much. Hence, the cuffs-or-no-cuffs debate. Ask a man what he thinks of his pants and he’ll say, “Yeah, I had to go no-cuffs.” We won’t help you here except to say: cuffs are older, no-cuffs are not. Choose according to your image of yourself.

Next comes the pleats question: The only times pleats are wanted is in the single-pleat case, on a pair of wool pants. The case should be that the pants look crisp and well-folded, rather than puckered. How to tell the difference? Think of a pair of pants recently back from the dry cleaner. Remember the line down the middle of the leg. Does your new pleat-to-be look like that? If not, drop the hanger and run.

After cuffs and pleats, you need to worry about waist, swish, drape, belt-loops, ass-hugging, crotch-dangling, and whether or not you need a watch pocket. This is beyond our advice. Suffice to say, your ass is probably less than marble, though it shouldn’t be treated like a towel hook. Pants shouldn’t blow like a scarf in the breeze. The best way to judge a pair of pants is to ask yourself, “Would I wear these pants on a date without the jacket?” If so, they’re fine. If not, move on.

Finally, a salesman will often ask if you’d like to buy two pairs of pants for the suit. The idea is you can alternate pants with the jacket so they wear evenly over time, but since pants can be so easily ruined, you always have a back-up pair. This is similar to electronics store people trying to sell you insurance on an air conditioner; if you have the money, it’s not a bad idea, but it also isn’t necessary.

So now that you’ve picked out your suit, you have to know how to wear it. We’ll assume you know the basics of putting the thing on. (Yes, the jacket part goes on top.) And this brings us to buttoning. It is a historic dilemma, faced by every man. Here, for you, is our easy-to-remember rulebook:

Two-button jacket: Button the top button, only, ever. Button the bottom button and you’ll look like a stooge. That’s really all there is to it.

Three-button jacket: Button either the middle button alone or the top two. Important: the bottom button does not meet its hole. It will plead before a date, just when your stomach’s boiling, “Hey! Friend! Button me once, please. I’m sure we’ll look fine. Come on! Just once!” But you will not give in, you will be strong.

Now the suit’s on, and you’re ready to go. Comb your hair, have a cocktail, head out for the evening. Travel lightly when you go, meaning don’t bulge your pockets with a Bible-sized wallet. Your outside jacket pockets, in fact, should never be used unless your companion asks; at that moment chuck your pretensions and stuff them full. When you get home, brush down the suit, hang it evenly, and keep it in a bag. Wear it often, with pride, and don’t take shit for looking good. After all, no one can be Cary Grant, but everyone can try.

Oh yeah, another thing: Don’t roll up the jacket sleeves Miami-Vice style. We say this now, but then again, considering the fickle nature of fashion, don’t hold us to it.

Published by The Morning News

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18 Responses to “Blast From The Past – ‘The Suit’”

  1. john says:

    I have many suits. Spent a considerable amount of time in the corporate world where suits were the norm.

    I have to disagree on the black suit thing. It may be a 70$ walmart suit, or a $1,000 suit from someplace else, a solid black suit always looks like it was bought at walmart.

    When they say that black is the universal suit, they mean that it should be something other than solid black. textured black, subtly pinstriped black, whatever, but not solid black. It just looks cheap… unless it’s a tux… then we can have a conversation.

    three-button suits are a trend that’s waning.

    I agree at a fundamental level, though. Buy something that will be timeless, not the suit that’s “hot” and “trendy” right now. Try to supersede the trends (patterns, buttons, lapel size, etc.) Modesty might not get all of your ladies into the sack at the bar you like so much, but modesty is the key to a good suit. Not too cheap. Not too much. Just modest.

    • Farragut Jones says:

      John is right—solid black is only right for evening wear or funerals. For business, oxford grey (an almost-black) is appropriate and looks professional. And one-button is classy, two is standard, and three these days is too much.

      I have to disagree with the author about vests, though. I’m in my forties and even ten years ago was occasionally wearing a vest with a suit in my DC-government-agency days. Do it right and it can look sharp without being old-fashioned or pretentious.

      Generally good advice, though.

  2. Chris says:

    Ahhh the military. We are collectively the worst dressed on the planet. That picture have me quite a laugh because its so true. I still remember the guy that got a Black suit with RED pinstripes as his first suit ever…..

    Gotta agree with John, solid Black is only for undertakers and funerals. If worn, should only be worn at night. If you do go black, try to avoid solid. It is the least versitile of any suit.

    Navy and Greys and you can’t go wrong.

    Avoid the square toed shoes as well.

  3. lowandleft says:

    I don’t see myself ever buying or needing a suit, but i have a feeling that if i did i would like it very much.

  4. b_a says:

    Suits suck.
    Anything you can’t just put in the washing machine sucks.
    A suit might be a neccessary evil in some jobs and on some events. But I prefer if I don’t have to wear one.

  5. JayfromVA says:

    What’s funny is that this article covered it better than the Transitions-GPS class did… And in less than a quarter the time…

  6. Torin Hill says:

    “When you’re overdressed, you feel ridiculous.
    When you’re underdressed, you ARE ridiculous.”
    –Viktor and Rolf
    Mens Clothing Designers

  7. JC says:

    And when it comes time to pack this sort of stuff up for a trip, go here: http://www.onebag.com/pack.html.

    I’ve been following the recommendations at that page to pack my dress suits, shirts, and slacks, and haven’t had to break out an iron once…from Dushanbe to Islamabad and back again.

  8. Mike says:

    On a two-week exercise in Korea, a pair of young SEALs (LTJGs) went into the Korean version of Walmart, and came back saying “We’re going to buy suits! They have great silk suits really cheap here.” The only dress clothing they had ever owned were the crappy blue blazers the Navy had issued them for their PSD mission, so they were clueless.

    I had spent plenty of time in the corporate world, and politely suggested that 100% wool would be a much better bet for their only suits. They ignored me, so I then recommended that they call their wives before they bought anything. As I expected, the wives vetoed the purchase. Lucky for them.

  9. Matt says:

    I would argue there is a reason to use the outer pockets of the jacket. Having the weight of a small (SMALL!) ring of keys or a small flashlight (think EB-1)…is nice to have when concealing a handgun. The weight keeps the wind or your movement from blowing open your jacket, and makes sweeping the garment much easier.

  10. Tenko says:

    To the fella that hates suits. I’ll paralhrase a quote for you, source unknown. Women feel the same way about a man in a good suit that men feel about a good looking woman in a string bikini.

  11. Yanne says:

    Oh my god…this article was amazing. Deployment suits…hahaha!

  12. Mark says:

    Does 5.11 make a rip stop suit jacket?

  13. Dellis says:

    In my neck of the woods there’s a Men’s Wearhouse right next to Bed, Bath and way Beyond…so while my wife inspected every gidget and gadget stacked in that cubicle of a store I ventured next door. I never had a suit, never felt a need for one. After all in my limited world of fashion expression a clean pair of blue jeans, tucked in long sleeve or polo shirt with nice boots or white sneakers fit any and all occasions.

    Well after telling the salesman twice I was just looking he asked, “Do you own a suit sir?” “Nope”, I replied. So he said, “Here, let’s just try this jacket on”….$500 later I owned my very first suit and it felt and looked GREAT! My wife was shocked and pleasantly surprised.

    The following weekend I bout 3 blazers, fitted shirts and of course casual pants with some nice ties. For all you suit doubters a great fitting suit just makes you feel great, don’t know what it is but just changes your outlook and attitude. Now if I had to wear one everyday then maybe that special feeling would not be very special but every so often I unzip my suit/jacket, take the wife out and she loves it.

  14. Jon Meyer says:

    I agree with the article mostly. As for black suits, get one with a really faint pattern. Like sharkskin or pinstripe. As for blue or grey/charcoal, plain or faint patterned both work. If you don’t get a custom suit made and you buy a pre-made suit, learn how to take measurements of your body properly. Then get the closest size suit to your measurements, and then, take it to a tailor/alterations. Make sure the jacket cuffs extend no farther than the first knuckle of your thumb, but no shorter than the joint of your thumb where it conjoins with your wrists (you don’t want it too long or too short). Make sure the jacket hugs only very slightly around your rib cage area, only very slightly, you don’t want to look like some hipster wearing one of those horrible skinny/slim fit suits. For pants, get them hemmed to the appropriate length. Preferably with only one break, but two is fine also. Any more, and it looks like garbage. Most people forget to get an appropriate fitting shirt as well. Do not forget to get one that fits your neck size as well as your sleeve length. You don’t want your sleeves drooping all out of your cuffs or your collar crinkling like bacon out of your jacket. Last but not least, learn how to tie a damn tie properly. Get the knot in a very nice little triangle, not some crap knot looking like you tied a giant piece 550 cord around your neck. No dimple either.

    Shoes are a big part as well, match them to the suit. You can’t go wrong with plain round toe black or brown semi-gloss oxfords. If you want pointed or box toed, make sure they are simple and humble in a sense; not overly stylish and designed. None of that flare crap like giant buckles or fringed leather hanging over the laces. Do not forget to tuck your laces either, they are not a pair of tennis shoes. Stay away from slip-ons, as well as high gloss (unless it’s a tux). Don’t forget to match your belt with your shoes; black shoes with black belt, brown shoes with brown belt. Match the shirt with the suit as well as the tie; again no overly stylish non-sense.

    You want to look professional and like a gentleman, a mans man. If you tie everything together properly you should be able to wear it in a variety of environments, venues, outings, surroundings, and so forth, and still look good, professional, and like you belong. Never wear a suit without a haircut either, and learn how to carry yourself like a man. Keep your head up and have good posture. You can have the nicest suit, but if you can’t carry yourself with confidence, all is lost.

  15. Keld says:

    And if your job has you walking any kind of distance and standing outside doors for hours on end, Ecco is the brand you will need. Your feet will thank you for it. And loose the G-Shock and get a classic watch.