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Violent Little Machine Shop – Not A Survival Patch

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Violent Little Machine Shop has released the ‘Not A Survival Patch’. Made from leather with hook Velcro backing, it’s a bit thicker than your standard morale patch, but that’s because, counter-intuitive to its name, the patch is stuffed to the gills with survival tools. To get at the goodies within, you simply have to cut it open along the dotted line, which reveals:

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  • Wilderness Survival Card
  • TIHK Handcuff Key
  • Pro Knot Tying Card
  • Single Use Super Glue
  • 2 Katadyn Water Purification Tablets
  • 3 Waterproof Matches w/Striker
  • 2 Vaseline Soaked Cotton Balls
  • 10″ of 25lb Test Monofilament
  • You’ve got to visit the page to read the item descriptions which are hilarious. And, if you use anything in the patch, then tell your story to VLMS, send it back to them, and they’ll replace the used components, sew it back up, and charge you only for the replaced items and shipping.

    www.violentlittle.com/products/not-a-survival-patch

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    15 Responses to “Violent Little Machine Shop – Not A Survival Patch”

    1. Really neat and will be great for the loved ones. I really enjoy Violent Little and the approaches they are taking; good guys as well.

      Now we’ll stand by for all the SERE experts to arrive and nitpick this kit.

    2. AU says:

      sold out dammit!

    3. PPGMD says:

      They seem awfully concerned about people using the items on their genitals.

      *looks around at the people around him*

      Never mind.

    4. Dellis says:

      I’ve actually used vaseline soaked cotton balls…several times now

    5. Joe says:

      What was the actual cost? I could not see it after it sold out.

    6. Wardog 1-7 says:

      Best. Patch ad. Ever!

    7. JS says:

      “OUTSIDE OF THE BOX”……….Love it!!!!

    8. Buckaroomedic says:

      Natural progression of both the moral patch and the mini survival kit. Just wish I had thought of it first. Now, I’m sure, we’re going to see a rush to market of similar products that will continue to get more and more ridiculous in size and components until they are completely silly.

      • Violent Little Machine Shop says:

        You should see the “body patch” we’re working on…

    9. Brett says:

      So the only genital friendly thing in there is a cotton ball soaked in Vaseline? Hardcore.