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Archive for the ‘WTF?’ Category

The Kick Dummy

Monday, January 17th, 2011

It’s a dummy you use to practice kicking a man in the crotch. At least, that’s all the commercial seems to imply. And while that is a fine defensive move (sarcasm), it’s not the end-all-be-all technique that will save your life in every engagement. Hell, after hearing about this, I might just have to start wearing a crotch protector of some kind so I don’t accidentally get kneed in the sack by a former Royal Marine Commando’s daughter due to simple miscommunication. In fact, until I went to the actual website, I almost though it was a joke.

Long story short: This product is completely retarded. I don’t really care how un-PC that is, it’s the truth. If you really care that much about self-defense in the first place, put yourself, or your loved ones, through a self-defense or martial arts class and leave this steaming pile of rip-off in the infomercial where it crawled from. “As used by the world’s meanest fighters”, my ass.

–Tactical Fanboy

Tags: TFB
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Maverick HS12 “Tactical” Over/Under

Friday, December 31st, 2010

Mossberg knows how to make a great shotgun. Their products are widely used by military, law enforcement, and civilian sources for both personal defense and sport. But when they decide to alter one of their hunting shotguns and call it a tactical firearm? That may just be jumping the shark a little. On that note, I present to you The Maverick HS12 over/under.

Now, when we get right down to it, a ‘tactical’ firearm’s purpose is to perform well when engaging an enemy, and I’m not too sure an over/under shotgun has that capability. Sure it’s black, features a shortened barrel, and sports Picatinny rails (just a reminder: I am not describing an M4 carbine) but those particular characteristics don’t instantly equal tactical. In addition to this, one glaring flaw really holds the Maverick back: it features extractors and not ejectors, so when you pop the barrel to reload, you have to manually remove the spent shells, a time-consuming action that could cost you your life.

Maybe I’m being a little too judgmental since I’ve never actually tested the Maverick, but the idea isn’t a practical one. I’d rather get a 590A1 with a six round magazine tube (from the same company, no less) than a double-barrel shotgun any day of the week. Also, when you release a firearm that sounds more like a Nerf blaster than a self-defense tool, you deserve at least a little scrutiny.

–Tactical Fanboy

Tags: Mossberg, TFB
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Ahhh…Now It All Makes Sense

Thursday, December 30th, 2010

So we’ve been sitting around the office for weeks trying to figure out Hypersealth came up with SMARTCAMOâ„¢, that color changing camo material they recently teased us with.

Then, we find out that Dr. Joseph Resnick, Lt. Col. Timothy R. O’Neill, Ph.D (U.S. Army, Ret.) and Guy Cramer (of Hyperstealth fame) have owned mineral rights for 95% of the side of the moon that faces Earth, the polar regions and 50% of the far side of the Moon since 2007. And that isn’t to mention their mineral rights on Mars!

So this has got to be it, they have found some rare mineral on the Moon that makes SMARTCAMOâ„¢ work. Now the question is, how did they get it back to Earth?

Tags: Hyperstealth
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Merry Christmas to the Boys Overseas

Saturday, December 25th, 2010

And now that DADT has been struck down maybe some of the ladies who are downrange will appreciate this too…

Warning: Clicking through will take you to a holiday message that some may consider N S F W

(more…)

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Gameboy Shot Timer

Thursday, December 23rd, 2010

One of our readers pointed this out to us and after seeing it I just had to ask: Is it possible that someone converted an old Gameboy Advance SP into a shot timer? Sure, but it can’t be the device found in this still image from a KASOTC promo video; there’s just too many buttons.

Instead, it seems to be a Competitive Edge Dynamics CED8000 shot timer, which I’ll admit looks deceptively like the aforementioned handheld console. I wonder if Nintendo even knows this thing exists. I’m almost positive there’s a lawsuit in there somewhere.

-Tactical Fanboy

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Christmas Gift Idea

Wednesday, December 15th, 2010

Do you wish to relive your childhood of playing with little green army men, but you don’t appreciate the ‘little’ aspect anymore? Then you need the Frank Kozik Big Army Man. A stunning 18 inches tall, this Red army man features interchangeable hands that include a grenade, Thompson machine gun, open hand, or a… rubber chicken. Huh?

At $200, it’s definitely more expensive than your average platoon of miniatures, but how can you justify not getting such an ode to childhood nostalgia? Plus, if the color doesn’t quite do it for you, you can always paint it army green and complete the look. Get it at 3dretro.com.

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Zombieflage

Tuesday, December 14th, 2010

Think Geek has once again contributed to the oversaturation of zombie products with their Zombie Attack Hoodie. Decorated with the battle scars of a survivor turned undead, this charcoal grey 100% cotton hoodie includes two front pockets, ribbed cuffs and bottom, topped off with a silver-colored biohazard symbol for a zipper pull. It also has the added benefit of allowing you to blend in with the zombie hoard after the eventual apoclaypse. But then again, is dressing like a zombie a violation of the Law of Armed Conflict? Get yours at ThinkGeek.com.

-Tactical FanBoy

Tags: TFB
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Black Ops Weapons

Thursday, December 2nd, 2010

Being a ‘Tactical’ Fanboy, there’s something that’s been bothering me a bit: What’s up with the weapons in CoD: Black Ops? It’s like the devs over at Treyarch were salivating over some 1970s issues of Soldier of Fortune, said to hell with the game’s 1960s setting, and decided that Vietnam was fought with AKS-74Us and Galils. To Treyarch’s credit, there’s plenty of period appropriate weaponry, but for every M16 and M72 LAW there’s a FAMAS and Beretta 686 White Onyx double barreled shotgun just waiting to be picked up. Seriously, a hunting shotgun?!? Treyarch, what the hell?

And don’t get me started on the lame-ass “I can haz prototype?” excuse. Just because real life black operatives may have fielded advanced equipment and weaponry doesn’t excuse the use of MP5ks with modern-esque red dot sights, roughly a decade before the MP5 was even produced and reflex sights were patented. I also had to laugh at the following:

-NVA soldiers wielding SPAS-12 shotguns
-Every magnified gun scope is called an ACOG, even with the SUSAT and Swarovski scope
-Masterkey shotguns and flamethrower underbarrel attachments. Too early for the former, and the later never existed
-Any number of weapons even being in the game, including, but not limited to, the AUG and G11 rifles, CZ75 pistol, Strela-3 launcher, Spectre M4, ete.
-Other anachronisms and errors on their part

It’s fine that the devs wanted to put a little variety into the weapon selection, but a flimsy excuse is still a flimsy excuse.

In conclusion, there’s a big difference between being somewhat realistic with weapon variety, and making weapons available decades before they would be otherwise. Despite my ranting, I don’t mind using an HK-21 or Uzi in the game, but I’d rather Treyarch just own up and admit they did it because they could, not because of some lame ‘prototype’ excuse.

-Tactical FanBoy

Tags: Black Ops, TFB
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