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Archive for the ‘WTF?’ Category

Did AFSOC Field A New Helmet? Well, Sort Of….

Saturday, April 12th, 2025

A buddy recently sent me this photo and asked me about this new helmet being worn by AFSOC, inquiring what it was.

I hadn’t seen it before and was intrigued. I put out some feelers and then I tracked the photo down to the Air Force Special Operations Command website, showcasing the Special Operations Forces Medical Skills Development program last October at Hurlburt Field, Florida. There was a whole photo story with these helmets peppered throughout.

It didn’t look like any helmet I had ever seen. Here I am thinking it might be some Air Force Research Lab project, but the truth, it would turn out, reminds me of that old Eddie Murphy comedy sketch, “We’ve got McDonald’s at home.*”

After further investigation, I found that this airsoft helmet (yes, I said airsoft) costs around $150 and goes by several names online, but seems to be manufactured by Avengers Airsoft. Avengers calls it the “Ark” Helmet w/ Integrated Cooling System & Headset. Granted, once you look at more of the photos you realize that they are training with paintball guns and that’s likely why they were purchased. They sort of look like issue helmets and are meant for airsoft. Even the website claims that the helmet is “Designed for Foam Blaster, Nerf, Gel Blaster, Battle Blaster, and low power Airsoft Gaming. ANSI rated full face mask recommended for close quarter / high power Airsoft Gaming.”

However, not only is this helmet not safety certified or approved for use as a ballistic, or even bump helmet, it’s also not Berry compliant. Sure, you can hide behind the micro-purchase exemption for Berry but I’d only use that defense if it were some uber cool European ballistic helmet like the NFM Hjelm, not some ABS bucket. What’s more, they aren’t using the face mask, despite using paintball guns, which kind of defeats the purpose of buying these helmets.

I’m not going to cast aspersions on the person who actually bought these things. I am sure they were well intended and bought what they were told to buy. They look sort of like an approved high cut helmet, but not much. Manufacturers Galvion, Gentex, and Team Wendy all make both ballistic and bump helmet models which are approved for wear and have been procured by the Air Force, and they can be used for sim training and have the appropriate mandibles.

Hopefully, AFSOC will procure some proper helmets for these Airmen soon which are actually certified for sim training. These toys should be crushed and put in the dumpster.

As for the rest of you, this is a cautionary tale. If you’re tasking a GPC holder to buy something for you, be very specific about what you want, even down to manufacturer and model preferences. Include specifications in order to further avoid confusion. If you don’t know, I suggest you have your GPC holder, or supply, get ahold of one of the Special Operations TLS vendors like Darley or Noble. There are several contract holders and they have in-house experts who can go over options. You can also do some research each here on SSD.

AFSOC Photos by Airman 1st Class Raul Mercado.

*Language warning, it’s Eddie after all…

Tactical Toilet Paper Storage Case

Saturday, February 1st, 2025

I swear to God this is real. It’s one of those wild things that shows up in my Instagram feed.

The Tactical Toilet Paper Storage Case accepts a roll of toilet paper and keeps it intact, relatively dry and free from dirt.

It features a daisy chain of webbing so you can tether it to other gear or the log on a makeshift latrine as well as a Velcro section so you can add a pithy morale patch or name tag so your TP isn’t swiped by the guy who ran out.

Look, it’s actually practical but it’s not something I would have ever thought was needed. But apparently now, I need one. It’s bad enough I make the wife use whatever facilities are at hand when camping. At least now, she’ll have a nice cozy for her TP.

Related, they also offer a Tactical Tissue/Wet Wipes Holder.

One More Time…It’s Pogue

Sunday, January 12th, 2025

Can we just cut it with the “POG” usage? The backronym “POG” was created by infantrymen who were Pogues, but didn’t want to be called Pogues anymore. You know it’s true, there are loads of Infantrymen who are Pogues.

This photo was taken during the Vietnam war and it clearly uses the term “Pogue” which dates back to World War I and possibly as far back as the Civil War.

Oddly enough, this “POG” nonsense seems to have started with the Marines during the GWOT which explains quite a bit since they were handing out ASVAB waivers like candy. If “POG” actually stood for “Persons Other Than Grunts” then where is the “T”? Wouldn’t it be “POTG”?

And another thing, who the hell wants to brag about being the “Queen of battle?” I realize it’s a chess reference but nobody plays chess anymore. They do however, know what a drag show is.

Either way my grunt friends, have fun cleaning the barracks while the REMFs do their day-to-day jobs.

Yes, This Is An Actual Email We Received

Saturday, August 24th, 2024

The World’s First Trinary Firing System from Franklin Armory

Monday, April 1st, 2024

What could be better than a binary trigger? Franklin Armory shows us.

This Is The Most Army Thing I’ve Seen All Week

Wednesday, November 15th, 2023

These photos were posted to Instagram by the 3rd Infantry Division. As a former Marne Man (yes, there two genders in the Army I served in) I can say that this sounds like some crap we’d have been doing after repainting bumper numbers (in the rain).

Nothing like turning in junk to get new junk.

“The U.S. Army is moving into a new era, and by getting rid of the excess equipment during the Rapid Removal of Excess Pilot– creating space for more modernized weapons,” said Randy George, Army Chief of Staff General. Soldiers assigned to 3rd Infantry Division have begun to identify and part with excess equipment within their companies. This is an ongoing process and will continue into December. Getting rid of excess equipment allows the units to better care for the vehicles they use more often and stay on top of the maintenance required for all equipment.

For those of you who are either socially awkward, slow on the uptake, or both, this is one of those posts where you can be yourself.

These photos were taken by PFC Rebeca Soria. Be kind to her, she’s just a PFC.

The Asymmetric Pastry Device

Sunday, September 25th, 2022

www.30magazineclip.com

Ask SSD – What’s The Goofiest Emails You’ve Received?

Saturday, August 27th, 2022

Dear SSD,

I know you occasionally share on Facebook whacky emails you receive from readers. What’s the goofiest?

A Friend

Well Friend, this one isn’t the goofiest, but it’s up there. It came in about a year ago.

SSD