Outdoor clothing is intended to be worn out of doors, or so I always thought. Unfortunately, almost every pair of outdoor pants I try on features flared legs. Once the domain of the hippy, today outdoorsmen everywhere are forced to wear these damnable contraptions. What’s that you might ask? At one time, they were called bell bottoms but I loathe that word worse than “flare”. You see, when the bottom hem on a pant is wider than the knee, that constitutes flare.
I realize that many who design outdoor clothing weren’t even alive during the heyday of the bell bottom, but having spent a good portion of my youth in the 70s I can assure you that, despite any romantic notions of nostalgia, flares weren’t cool then either. Even at the tender age of nine I can recall my mother purchasing a pair of flares for me and recoiling in horror when she took them from the shopping bag. The knees were ripped of those post haste and off to the rag bin they went.
Now, as an adult, and a guy who spends a fair amount of time in the outdoors, I would like to be able to purchase pants that make me look like a man and also fit and perform well. I don’t want the creepy crawlies making their way up my calf or the cold edging its way around my ankle simply so some dude in the city can look hip.
Virtually every popular brand is guilty of this affront to good taste and performance. So please make us some pants with straight legs or at least boot cuts and no, I don’t wear Moon Boots so I don’t need a wide leg all the way up to my knee. Just make outdoor clothing for people who wear it in the outdoors and leave the fashion to the runway.
-EG
